Funny today

This morning I had a phone call from someone who I used to VT (JM) - way back in the day :)-  she was subbing one of Middle's classes and she was looking for addresses that she hoped I would have for wedding invites.

Anyway-  the funny part was she said to me that Middle had told her we just came back from South Dakota from a hockey tournament- and JM asked which of her brothers had played in the tournament.  JM said the look on Middle's face was priceless- and she answered - Neither- it was MY tournament.

Random Conversation Quote

When I asked what Oldest was going to wear for his first day of school, he responded:

"I am  going to get up and put on clothes and whatever I put on, that is what I will be wearing."

quick funny

Middle comes out of her room  (it is around midnight)-  "mom-  how do I get back to being human?


Well- darling- you go back to bed and when you wake up, you will be back to being human. 

She said okay and headed back to bed.







(really, I just want her to go back to being two.  She was less hormonal then)

Mother's Day Mirth

The DR has been pretty good  about remembering and celebrating special days over the years-  but the last several Mother's Days have been very sub par-  as in I had to go buy gifts for my children to give me.  That is sucky by the way.

Anyway- after several attempts at discussion of our own mothers, which turned into me-  I informed the DR that I preferred to not be personally involved with my own Mother's day.

At one point he asked me again what I wanted for Mother's day- he then said- "I know- you want your tubes cut."- 

I am sure the look on my face was priceless- then he busted up laughing.

I informed him that it was a little late for that- since I had taken even more drastic measures than that to prevent any other mother making.

Maybe you had to be there-  but the comment that I wanted my tubes cut immediately on the heels of the words "Mother's Day'  was rather funny.



He meant to say I want my columns cut.

Well- that's a First-

Today started out rather interestingly.

We slept through the first half of Oldest's hockey game.

Yep.

I was up late last night driving home and talking to my oldest sister (we have simultaneous wedding plannings going on, and family drama moments-- we talked for at least 4 hours :)  ) 

I set my alarm on my cell phone for 5:00 so that the DR and Oldest could be at the rink by 5:45.  AM.  I awoke at 6:38 and it took about 1.2 seconds to realize the enormity of the situation.  I went into the bedroom and woke the DR with "IT IS 6:40 and we are missing the game!!!!!!).  Well- there was nothing to be done as far as Oldest was concerned.  If you are not on the bench at the start of the game-  you can't play unless the coach wants to take a 2 min penalty.  The DR flew up and began to dress frantically. I told him there wasn't much point but he said that Oldest wasn't the only one which I took to mean he was reminding me that Middle was supposed to be at the rink in 15 min.  I got her up and the DR headed out the door to start the car (or so I thought)- I told her to grab her bag and stuff- when I saw the DR pull out of the driveway.  HE LEFT HER!!!!

So-  I quickly threw clothes on myself and hurried her to the van and she had to dress as we drove down to the rink.  I went into the rink and the Pee Wee team mom says good morning and did you remember you have team treat today.  No,  No I didn't.  I didn't even bring my purse :(

So-  I head over to the bench where the DR is coaching, and grab his wallet-  mention-  "oh, by the way- why did you take off without Middle?"  - to which he replied- OH- I did!!!

He had not even COMBED his hair- or even grabbed a hat!

Anyway-  the off-course ship righted itself eventually-  but wow.  In fourteen years-  that is most definitely a first.

My cell alarm went off at 5:00 PM--Not that I needed it to.

I really need glasses!

Something I never thought I would hear...

My son- Oldest- 

HeadNurse: "Did you try those new (slim and straight) jeans on?"

Oldest: " yes- but I think they make my legs look fat"


Wha?

Fa La La-Ha Ha Ha Ha- It really is the thought that counts

You might remember the Boy Drama that we just went through with Middle.  Well- a couple of nights before Christmas, the doorbell rang and Youngest opened the door to a very nice young man (not the boy in the drama situation) bearing gifts for both of the girls.  Yes- both of the girls- I said he was nice and I meant it.

This was an unexpected visit- and then Middle came in with a wrapped gift and showed me that the card said to keep it in the fridge- but she didn't have to wait until the 25th.  She wanted to know if she should open it right then-  but I suggested she wait until the DR, Outpatient, and LOL returned.  In the meantime- it would keep very nicely out the back door since it was so not warm out there.

Had I known what was to come, I would have been prepared with cameras- but no such luck. 

The SECOND the patients walked in the back door, she had that package ripped open to find------






Wait for it...............







Her most favorite thing in the world..........




BACON!!!!!

He brought her a package of bacon!!!


He knows what she likes :)---


(he also gave her a little stuffed dog and a necklace- but still-  the boy did his research.  It helps that her whole facebook stuff/ pieces of flair, etc. all proclaim her love of the fatty, smoked, sodium overkill pig butt rear.)


Have you ever heard of anything sweeter?  I talked to his mom a few days ago- she was the one who brought him over, but she was oblivious to the contents besides the necklace.  And for him to bring Youngest a little gift too- well- he is a super nice boy. And smart enough to not give Middle chocolates.

The Way My Mind Works...

I am a list maker. If the occasion is big enough (like an upcoming wedding perhaps)- I will end up making lists of my lists.



I have come to know that I come by the trait naturally- compliments of Grandma A. I am not just talking your run of the mill grocery list , mine is done in excel and covers just about every possible thing I could need to pick up, plus I have a separate one for Costco.


I have had total strangers and more than a few friends stop me and ask me to email them my lists for groceries and my trailer list. It is not a disease- it is very helpful and I hate life when I do not use my list making capabilities.

Today, I was talking to my mom, and having a minor laugh at her expense, because- A) she gave me the exact same necklace for Mother's Day last May and my birthday. I find this hilarious- because she told me the same story and reason for its purchase both time (It reminds her of her mother- Grandma F) And, B) for many, many years, she gave me a pink top of some sort for my birthday and Christmas (my sis says at least I got some variety- hers were all cream sweaters with flowers).


Love my mom- but I did not get my memory skills from her.

Anyway- she said she needs to make a list of who she gives what to- I agree. And I already do that- my current notebook goes back to 1998. I have birthdays and Christmas lists- who and what. I read a few years to her. She laughed and didn't want me to continue to the current year-

What can I say- its genetic.

Friday Funny

I was shopping this afternoon, and a young boy- maybe 5ish- was walking backwards and ran right into my cart. His dad told him to watch where he was going- to which he responded, "I can't, I am walking backwards". Well, duh.

Happy Earth Day.

It rained like crazy last night and this morning, washing my grass nice and clean and watering my flowers and now the sun is peeking out in honor of Earth Day.

Youngest came out dressed for school in the dress she got for easter (green), a sweater (green), and leggings (brown). Do you see where this was going?


Unintentionally, she was celebrating Earth Day by dressing like a tree.

I said, "Good thing it is Earth day", to which she replied, "It is?!!!!?" She was super happy that she was wearing a costume for Earth Day.

I didn't get a picture this morning but I will take one when she gets home.

Oh, and she wore brown shoes- natch!

Happy St Patrick's Day

Cool- first pic of Oldest without his glasses on the blog (notice his complete lack of molars STILL)

As you can see, the leprechauns got a little more rambunctious than usual-




Okay- not really- It was Crazy Hair Day for Red Ribbon Week (Drug Prevention)


May the Luck O' The Irish be with ye :)

Oh Dear....

Earlier today I was picking up the various school papers that youngest had flung on the table in her haste to escape the house on her way to school. Something caught my eye- She had written her teacher's name as the subject of a story problem on her math test.

They were to write a story problem for the number sentence 9+7 = 16.

It said, "Ms. C. joined the Weight Wathers (her spelling, not mine) program. The first day she ate 9 points. The second day she ate 7 points. The third day she ate 5 points. How many points did she eat in the first two days? 16 points."

I can only imagine what Ms. C. had to think about that.

There goes any chance for Teacher's pet :) .

And don't ask me what the 5 points was all about- guess Youngest was being an overachiever, or tricky. One never knows with that girl.


(by the way, daily points are quite a bit higher than that :) )

Morning Convo-

Youngest: "Mom, is this Middle's last year in Suchandsuch Elementary?"

Head Nurse: "yes"

Youngest: "That means next year I will be the last Larsen to go to Suchandsuch Elementary :( "

The Tale(s) of the Teeth

So I don't forget, here a few funnies in relation to the recently departed parts of the Oldest.

First...
He so would not quit bugging us about their location while at the dentist. They were cleaning them for him, but finally just handed them over. Gross. The teeth are his trophies or something. Anyway, so he handed me a baggie filled with 7 of the 8 teeth- one sadly was sucked up accidentally- and his orthodontic appliance. Oh lucky me. All I need is to add the teeth from the DR's elk- and I can make me quite the necklace.

Second...
He wanted to go with me to drop Sophie off to be dog sat. Not a surprise, but he also had the ulterior motive of showing off his trophies to his cousins, Christopher M. and Nate. The look on Christopher's face was priceless! The boy can't stand for his own teeth to fall out one at a time, and to be confronted with the baggie full of still somewhat unclean gems was more than he bargained for.

Third...
He also had to show off his collection to his other cousins. I was not around for that so I can't report on their reactions- however, that set up the fourth.

Fourth...
He lost his teeth! as in- the whole baggie. We did wonder if maybe that is what stunk up our room- but since we hauled everything out- and had looked everywhere for the teeth in there, we were pretty sure it wasn't.

Fifth...
Called Grandma begging her to call and at least put the Aspen Grove people on the lookout for teeth. She was embarrassed (come on- what is worse, a missing bag of baby molars and a wire appliance or two adult cross-dressing sons?) but she- and I quote-"loves him so much that I did it". Can you just imagine the person who got the message? I am sure we made it into the folklore stories of Aspen Grove.

Sixth...
After all that, teeth were found. Not yet turned in. Giant teeth like those may break the Tooth Fairy's bank. Seriously.

Seventh...
While he and I were driving in the car to buy the both of us soft foods and painkillers, he said to me in all seriousness- "I wonder if I can get the tooth fairy to let me keep the teeth".

Um- I think that can be arranged.






psst- hey DR... I think you have some 'splaining to do.

Quick Funny

Last night, we had the missionaries over for dinner. Long story short- I was running behind, directing the troops to set tables, make salad, so on. Anyway- about 10 minutes late- total miracle that was, sat down to the table, Outpatient was asked to say the blessing in Portuguese- began to pray, and hear in the background- "we will, we will ROCK YOU,... we will, we will ROCK YOU." Oh my goodness! I had itunes on during the day, Oldest came home, turned down the volume and during the chaos of getting dinner done, I hadn't noticed it was still on!

Outpatient said a really long blessing- we got two full rounds. I was trying to decide if it was worse to get up and turn it off- or suffer through, and trying to not crack up. Amazingly the patients didn't. The DR tapped me with his foot, and it about did me in- but I barely kept it in until the blessing was completed- then several of us had a very good laugh.

Oh dear, what they must think of us :)

Now That's Thinking

My dishwasher has been spilling its guts out all over my floor for the past month or so- (conveniently after the Outpatient's homecoming). Today, my new one should be arriving. ( I live in Small Town, seems like whatever I want is not the one they have in stock- ever.)

Anyway, my BIL- PB&J, stopped by to help with the removal of the old beast. Upon the removal from the space provided for said appliance, we discovered where the instruction manual had been kept for the past 12 years. Behind the dishwasher.

No wonder I never lost it. The plumber kept it safe for me all these years.

Good thinking.

Memories- in the far reaches of my mind

Okay- so I read my sister's post (bids2calvin)- and nearly laughed out loud. She endured the maturation class with her first child. A daughter the same age as Middle. I have a few maturation stories of my own (bummer) and since I haven't yet had the dubious honor of attending with a daughter, my stories involve my two sons. There wasn't anything that I learned from the actual maturation programs that I wasn't fairly well informed on already. I did, however, get an education I was not prepared for from my sons. I did NOT sign up for that. I know I didn't. And I dare anyone to show me where I signed up for that. Isn't that what dads are for? I mean, really. I would go into more detail, but trust me, you really don't want to know if you don't already. I did get a chuckle out of watching a few red faced dads at the classes. I think it was a bit awkward for them having the small smattering of mothers in attendance.

Here is another awkward thing. After the class for Oldest, he felt it was his duty, or right, or obligation, or something, to begin educating his various cousins. Even though he had been talked to about keeping private things private at the presentation, by me, by his dad. He was just so thrilled with his knowledgeable status, he was bound and determined to share the wealth- much to the chagrin of an Aunt or two. I guess there were worse places they could get information, but still.

So Sis, here's a toast to conquering this step into the raising of a teenager. I wish you better times than I had, and hopefully at least as much success with your first born as I have had with mine. Cheers!

And I promise- you did need a- a.r.b.- spelled backwards.

Were you ever this tired?

Put a computer in front and that would be me.

*photo came from an email sent to me full of similar animal photos

Mac Pics-

I don't know if I have mentioned before- but the Outpatient is a little weird.

Faces on Facebook

As you may know, I have a job where I get to work from home. I do data entry for crews that work in various states. I see names on production sheets, have exchanged more than a few emails with many of the employees, even talk to them on the phone occasionally, and without exception, I have never seen them in real life. I can't even think that I have ever even tried to picture what they may look like that I can think of. I just haven't given it any thought- even when I am frustrated with someone's inability to fill out paperwork correctly. I really don't care what they look like, just that they get their job done.

Today (tonight) has changed all that. I joined Facebook- don't ask me why. I looked it over and I can't really see why I would want to use it. I am not really interested in reaching out and touching someone from my past- those I want to get in touch with, I usually have been a little.

I have only added some of my family members to this point. What I do not get, is how on earth, the minute I set up my account, this list of "friends" pops up, with a bunch of names and pics of these people I deal with for work, some real friends, and some family, plus a bunch of people from Small Town, my high school days- I have not put in any mailing list of anything- IT IS CREEPY! There were a few people that I didn't know- but most were people whom I did, and totally unconnected to each other. Anyone know how that works?

Anyway- to make a long process short, one of the options was one of my bosses, and I pulled his picture up- since I have never actually met him because he is in a different state. There among his friends were a bunch more of the people I do stuff for. I looked at every picture. It was fun to see what they looked like and to have a face with a name. Kind of crazy, really.

And, no, I don't think I will be adding many of them as friends- even if they ask nice.