Welcome Welcome Sabbath Morning

This morning, my body told me it was time to wake up well before the alarm was set to go off. It thinks it is a school day.

It looks like it is going to be a beautiful day. My yard is freshly mowed as of yesterday and my flowers are blooming. There isn't a cloud to be seen.

Early Mornings are peaceful.






And then the patients wake up.

Mission Report part deux-

Outpatient received a phone call on Tuesday from one of his former scout leaders who is now the bishop in a different ward, which happens to be made up of close to half of our former ward. He had a speaker fall through, one of Outpatient's friends and former classmates would be speaking before leaving on a mission to Africa, and would Outpatient please come report his mission to his "real" ward? The Outpatient agreed, although it meant he would miss another friend's report.

The DR, Myself, and Friend CM went to listen. The young man leaving has come a long way, and has earned the priveledge of serving the Lord. His remarks were wonderful and spirit filled. You would have to know him to know how far he came. Then the Outpatient got up to speak. He mentioned many memories with this young man, scouts, primary, contention, football when they were both about 4 feet tall and 80 pounds. He then gave a wonderful talk about finding "the one" who in the premortal existance was promised to be found. He spoke of his very special family, and tearfully mentioned his overwhelming desire to return to Brazil when the family is ready to go to the temple. It was a wonderful outpouring of the spirit, and many of the Outpatient and N's former leaders and teachers were there. I couldn't help but think about the influence these men had on both of these young men. I doubt they knew it at the time, but we have thanked them since. Wish and hope that the Oldest could have such effort in his life.

Anyway- a sweet lady in a bright red suit came up to me, gave me a huge hug and told me she had just told the Outpatient that she was going to give him twenty dollars to help start him on his way back to Brazil. Apparently her husband told the Outpatient something similar as well. Such sweet people. March is coming quickly, so we better get cracking on getting Outpatient back there.

Sunday

Today, for the first time in many years, I cried for the loss of my dad. That may sound strange, but after 19 years, his life is what it is. With the occasional medical situation or emergency, the effects of the accident are what they are, but after spending the weekend with all but one of my siblings and my parents, it struck me for the first time in quite a while how much was lost. I cry a lot lately. My dad "cured" me of crying when I was a baby, but I am making up for it now.

Who knows what other differences there would be today, but this I know. He adored my outpatient as a baby, he would get an even bigger kick out of Miss Ava Grace than he does. He would be proud of his daughters and Son in Law who play softball and would probably be playing with them. He would be proud of his Son in Law who tackles major home construction projects and helping out there. He would still break into his Elvis impersonation on the occasional Saturday morning.

I had the ipod hooked up to the van because there are so few radio stations available. I have a playlist of the american idol songs I downloaded. David A. came on singing "Love Me Tender". The tears started, first, for my mom. Last night I hugged her little white headed body goodbye as she lay in the dark trying to sleep. I don't feel like I have to earn her love, although I never have been the favorite child.

Then came the memories of Saturday morning pancakes and Elvis. I tried to hide- but the DR noticed anyway and reached over to hold my hand. How I wish I could believe that in the same circumstances, my dad would have treated my mom the same, but it was not how their marriage was.

The DR and I will celebrate 22 years of marriage in just three weeks. My dad was in a motorcycle/car accident two days after their 25th anniversary. The DR is a year older now than my dad was then.

My mom has been my dad's caretaker and provider for the past 19 years, 20 in May, with the help of us children in turn. I remember very well spending every lunch hour at the hospital, caring for him, feeding him, and taking turns with my mom to spend the night while he was experiencing nightmares as he was coming out of his coma. If there was one thing I could change, it would be to have remembered a little better that I was a wife and a mother during that time. I don't regret the time spent helping my family, but I have noticed that I sort of forgot that I had a family of my own at the time. Trauma does that to people. If I could give one piece of advice to others in time of family trial, remember where you are in life and act accordingly.

Today has been a quiet, reflective day. Some days, life just seems so hard.

There are good things. Aunt D came and Grandma Bunnie was able to have a pill that controls the nausea, so Grandma did much better this time. This little miracle pill has a miraculous price. One hundred dollars a piece. If her insurance won't cover it, we will find a way to get them for her- but there are three pills per treatment. I guess Middle Patient paid for almost half of one. She raised about 40 dollars.



Grandma in her wig- the sisters and one brother- The Artist is missing. We took another picture without Grandma's wig, which is a tiny bit better of me, but unless she tells me I can post it- it is securely hiding on my computer. I get to be the scary one.

Sunday Sweetness

A couple of weeks ago, when we were out of town for a wedding, we returned to find an invite for the youngest patient in the mail. It was for the baptism of a sweet little friend of her's who has a bit of a crush on her- (can't blame him- she is pretty cute). Since we missed it, I found her a small gift for him, and she wrote him a darling little note, telling him she was sorry she missed it, but she was at her cousin's wedding. Good thing she didn't tell him she was playing the field :) LOL! Anyway- it was Fast and Testimony Meeting, and almost first thing- she hustled up to the front to tell him how proud she was for his "decision to follow what Jesus wants him to do", and that she was so sorry she had to miss it because she was gone to her cousin's wedding, and then bore her own sweet and simple testimony. Sweetest thing ever!