UPDATE ON Grandma Bunnie

Chemo will start on Thursday, and will be every three weeks following. This first treatment will be EIGHT HOURS!!!! Anyone have book recommendations for her?

Tender Mercies Tuesday

My tender mercies for this week, were getting to town barely in time for my mom's biopsy. So barely, that she was done before I could get to the hospital, but I was there when she woke up, and I took her home, and tucked her in. Roles are reversing a little earlier than I anticipated. :)

Another tender mercy is that I was supposed to be all alone with payroll this week, but mercy of mercy, I wasn't. It took me all day to do my part of it, let alone if I had to do J's part too. She probably wasn't feeling the love quite as much as me, but I tried to let her know how super grateful I was. We have had nothing but problem after problem with our Internet/ home network, which is what makes it possible for me to work from home.

I finally made it to the bank, and as I was leaving, I saw Dalton- who has been missing in our lives for a while. He looked happy to see me, and gave me a big hug and promised he was coming to visit soon. I worry about him even though I never see him anymore.

As I mentioned in another post, my nephew's sealing was a message I needed desperately to hear.

My SIL is doing well, the baby is doing well. The sisters are doing well, and as far as I know, those babies are doing well. The nieces are also doing well, and the one feels ready to pop- but she has about 10 weeks left. Babies are doing well there, too.


My house is a wreck, but that is okay. I will get to that eventually.

Please keep my mom in your prayers. She sees the oncologist today. and Heavenly Father- thank you so very much for her.

For whom the Bell rings

I know, I know. That isn't how it goes. But this is a story about wonderful, happy bells. Like the one around my neck as I type. My mom's bell. And my sister's bell. And my bells. A couple of years ago, I read on a wonderful blog which is now private, about these bell necklaces. It was the perfect thing for my mom, so I ordered it for Mother's day- never dreaming my sister would be diagnosed with breast cancer shortly before, so my mom agreed that D needed the first one I ordered, and I would get Mom another one. The blog writer had bought one for her mother and her mother wore it to all her cancer treatments and appointments, telling the daughter how when the bell would ring, she would think of how much she was loved. Just what D needed. And then, when I ordered one for my mom, I went ahead and bought two so I could have one- silly me- I should have guessed that my sister would buy me one for my very own (so now I have two).

These bells have been in much use this past year and a half and they aren't done yet. The bells are from a company called Jewelery John, are handmade, and collectible. There is a special message and thought with each one. We have the nestled heart bells, and my sister bought me one of the sisters bells. They keep us close in our hearts. My nephew told my mom one day, as her bell was cheerily ringing, "Wow, grandma, you sure have lots of people who love you." This is what that bell's message is. "May the gentle ring of this bell remind you just how much you are loved. Its shape is that of a chocolate kiss, with a small heart for the clapper and an open heart for the bail. Let this Nestled Hearts Bell be an expression of my love."

My personal bell from my sister's message is: "No one understands me quite like you, my sister. Together, we've shared jokes, memories, even our smallest secrets and biggest dreams. Together, we' ve laughed and cried hard. We've learned what matters most in life, while all the while discovering our unique selves, creating an amazing tie and lasting friendship. May this bell celebrate the sister's we've always been and the friends we've become."

I so love my bells (and my family, too).

September Birthdays- OOPS!

Apparently my trauma over the OUTpatient's birthday blocked everyone else from my mind. I realized this morning that I had messed up- so- without further ado-

September-

Outpatient- 12th

Kristy- 17th


"50" Mike D. 21st

"50" Les 24th


Uncle Markie 29th

wow- small month- which March has been- but this next one will completely change all of that :)

Syrup for your day

A darling friend of mine calls photos on a blog- syrup. So here is some syrup. I didn't get very many good pictures - there was way too much competition for space.

Sunday Silly

Well- I am not sure how silly this is, but as we were leaving the reception on Friday night, my SIL's Mother, sister-in-law, and sister were getting in their car, so the youngest patient, being herself, ran over to say "Adios"- literally. They got such a kick out of her and her desire to communicate with them in Spanish. She loves to try. They adored her personality too. She is definitely full of personality plus. We get a kick out of her too.

Photo is her at the dinner/dance the night before- cutting the rug with Cousin Josh-

blogger issues

I am having a terrible time getting anything posted- don't know if it is my Internet or what- so I will post pictures later-

Update on my mom- the procedure went very well, and quick. She doesn't handle drugs very well (at all) so she spent a little more time at the surgical center until her head wasn't feeling loopy, but she was looking and acting just great today. She has a 1 1/2 inch incision on the right side of her neck where they removed the nodes and she has an appointment with the oncologist on Tuesday. Hopefully they will now be ready to start the treatments, which although nasty and rotten, if you have to have them anyway, you might as well get them over with. Thanks for all the concern and prayers on her behalf. She has some very entertaining pictures that have popped up on the Internet compliments of people who love her and have known her for a really long time- there is a particularly lovely one with curlers from a camping trip we went on years ago- wow- Melanie could have used that for blackmail and instead used it in a tribute- guess you have to decide how to take that :).

The Larsen Clan can PARTAY

We spent the last couple of days celebrating the marriage of our nephew. I need to mention a funny that happened a few years ago. The Outpatient's boss somehow got set up on a blind date with one of our nieces. When she found out he where he was from, she said- oh, my grandparents and aunts and uncles live there, do you know any Larsens. Keep in mind he was the Outpatient's BOSS!!- He said no, he didn't. Well, somehow they started talking Hockey. She said her cousin plays hockey, and he said, two of the guys who work for me play. She said her cousin's NAME, and boy did BOSS have egg on his face. UM- yes, he did indeed know some Larsens. One worked for him, one was his landlord (us)and did his payroll and accounting, and the rest of us ate there about every day. Now, you may wonder why he did not put two and two together, and the only thing I can guess is that my niece is a very gorgeous half-Guatemalan. (not that we are ugly- just a little fair skinned by comparison) Why is this story pertinent? The groom is her very handsome brother.

Anyway- This Larsen clan has a tendency towards big parties, and this wedding was no exception. I missed the dinner and mariachi band & dance sponsored by my BIL & SIL to be with my mom- but it was tons of fun I have heard, and seen the pictures. The sealing was wonderful, and strangely felt as if the sealer was talking just to me, with counsel pertinent to me, and come to find out, many of us there felt the same. Wonderful counsel for them and all of us. The reception was gorgeously decorated and so much fun, and even though we skipped out for a little bit to visit my mom, the DR and I got a dance in. The youngest put on quite a show- dancing to her heart's content with all the handsome groomsmen, and bridesmaids- and even scored a bouquet, which brought her lots of compliments throughout the night. They are one good-looking couple, and we wish them lots of love and faith.

Think About It

As you know, my sister was diagnosed with cancer in May of 2007. Her mammogram was the first part of April, and she had to wait until the first part of May for her biopsy. Now, I am not trying to say that she was not watched over, or extremely blessed with thousands of tender mercies, because she most definitely was, but I am being blown away with the speed of progress that my mother is experiencing. I know the Lord is very mindful of what is involved in her life, and is helping her accordingly. Her doctor actually said to her, "I don't want you to feel like I am rushing you" to which we all reply- please rush her some more. Having gone through all that has gone on in the last year and a half, we have learned that medicine doesn't "hurry" without it being VERY SERIOUS or being VERY, VERY BLESSED.

You can probably guess which one has my vote.

My "think about it", is how is it that we see these miracles all around us, and don't recognize them for what they are? Or- don't acknowledge them for what they are? It is like the cartoon of someone going over a cliff, praying to be saved and grabbing hold of a branch sticking out of the side, and saying "never mind, I've got it under control". Yep- branches just happen to be sticking out everywhere for us to grab onto. Wonder who put them there. :)

Have a happy!

Update on my mom

**** UPDATED**** My sister put together a blog for my mom- the link is in my therapy options- Bunnie Bloggin- if you would like to take a look at it. ****

The 2nd appt with the oncologist was today. Her cancer is a stage III, and aggressive, which although that sounds bad- it is the type that is CURABLE! We like curable over remission. She- in another round of tender, tender blessings can get in for surgery Thursday at 6:40- guess who is already supposed to be out there at that time? Give up? ME!!! that is who, and that makes the real nurse very happy, because I can stay at the hospital with her. I will miss out on the wedding dinner, but this is more important.

The surgery is to take some lymph nodes from her neck to better ascertain the spread of the cancer. After the biopsy is back, chemo treatment will be decided and probably start next Friday. Heavenly Father doesn't take our trials away, but he sure does bless us in the midst.

Tender Mercies Tuesday

I am afraid to admit my brain is going to mush. I had several things to post today during the last week, but my brain can not remember them- WEIRD- I know. It is my severe lack of sleep I am sure, plus I can't remember to write them down so I don't forget, ironic, huh?

I am grateful that the compressor went out at the rink (I know, what is with me?) so practice is delayed yet again.

I am grateful that I was not ON the treadmill yesterday when it decided to break apart.

I am grateful that the weight set wasn't really broken, it just looked like it was.

I am grateful that after three hours my cousin was able to get our wireless mess straightened out so we could work on our laptops.

I am grateful for the gorgeous day that is outside.

I am grateful that my nephew is marrying in the temple this week.

I am grateful that my mom's bone marrow test was not completely horrid.

I am grateful my mom has people that she works with who have her back, and stick up for her. She has earned it, but still-

I am grateful for her influence on so many people, especially her grandchildren that are in my keeping.

I am grateful that, although it is not without it's issues, I have in-laws that care about us and my family.

All of these have tender mercies hidden inside, I just know it.

What are some of yours?

Monday Morning

I only have a minute before I have to get to work, but let me recap my weekend. Boys + BYU football = much quieter house. Girls and I were productive, and the house was quite presentable when the football junkies got home. My nephew played an awesome game on Friday night for the high school, which the boys also attended. He is having one awesome year. Cute thing, when the youngest patient got to go to the UC LA game with the DR, she made buddies with a few older ladies that sit behind, well, of course they wanted to know where she was this week. Looks like additional season tickets are in our future. The kids enjoy it a lot- and I am really feeling bad about this :)

Sunday, the DR had to talk in Sacrament. As the Elders Quorum Pres, he spoke with the Dry council- which was anything but dry. The DR did well, almost spoke for 1/2 hour- good gravy- when I timed him at home it was a whopping 13 min. I thought he might have a heart attack over this talk- but he did great.

Sunday night, we began the hockey season. Technically we had ice as of Sept 15- but I was so unwilling to be ready a month earlier than normal- anyway, we spent the evening dragging out bag after bag of gear, trying on everything, and finding that the Oldest patient fits into his brother's gear- HE IS ONLY 11!!! so he pretty much needs almost everything new. We were so spoiled with the outpatient, that we don't know how to do whole new sets of gear. The Middle patient only needed bigger skates, which we have a stash of. The youngest patient needs a couple of things. We will have THREE teams this year- so help me. Because of the girls' other interests, they will both miss at least one practice a week, but hopefully I don't completely lose my mind by Christmas, let alone March.

Well- off to work for me- Have a fabulous day and those of you who played along, thanks- that was rather fun and informative. Let me know if you are interested in me posting your replies here-

Sunday Silly

In an attempt to lighten the mood around here- I want to post either a funny memory or something funny that happened during the week- when all the patients were tiny- I used to call the DR at work with his daily funny- so that is what I will do here- but just weekly.

Today while putting my cake decorating things away, I had a funny memory recalled to my mind. A few years ago, one of my SIL's called to see if I knew anyone who had a springform pan. I told her that it just so happened that I had some that I had been given years ago and never used, but she was welcome to use them. I went and dug them out. They had been given to me when I was in high school by a former boyfriend, which at the time was almost 20 years earlier. I opened the box, pulled out the pans and started to laugh. I had NEVER even opened them up, and in the center of the pans, he had put several decorator bags, tips, and other decorating paraphernalia- very nice of him, and very pathetic of me. But I did get a good chuckle out of it years later. I was reminded of this when I saw a few of the items he had given me in my bin- and I am glad that all his thoughtfulness eventually came to light- even though I would rather not ever think about him-

Have you ever?

To play along- just copy the list and highlight those things that you have done. If you don't blog- then email me, just for fun.

In my life so far, I have:

1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars
3. Been a part of a hockey fight ( I have been verbally threatend by a mom because my husband was the coach)
4. Changed a baby's diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said "I love you" and meant it
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Taken an ice cold bath
28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Ridden a roller coaster
31. Hit a home run
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
33. Adopted an accent for fun
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
36. Loved your job 90% of the time
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach
41. Gone sky diving
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume
49. Sung karaoke
50. Lounged around in bed all day (Work and the Glory novels and Harry Potter novels were involved)
51. Gone scuba diving
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Done something you should regret, but don't
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Been in a movie (bunch of friends and I were extras crossing the street in the Gary Gilmore story)
60. Gone without food for 3 days
61. Made cookies from scratch
62. Won first prize in a costume contest
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language fluently
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone - verbal not physical
67. Bounced a check
68. Read - and understood - your credit report
69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
74. Helped an animal give birth
75. Been fired or laid off from a job
76. Won money
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read The Bible cover to cover
86. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions
88. Gone back to school
89. Changed your name
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands
91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
97. Been elected to public office
98. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
101. Had a booth at a street fair
102. Dyed your hair
103. Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep
105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all four (Sis boyfriend did that to my cat- I wanted to kill him)
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people
108. Brought out the worst in people
109. Worn a mood ring
110. Ridden a horse
111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap
112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe.
113. Buried a child
114. Gone to a Broadway (or equivalent to your country) play
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket
117. Danced at a disco
118. Played in a band
119. Shot a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum
121. Tutored someone
122. Ridden a train
123. Brought an old fad back into style
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt
129. Lived in a historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
131. Asked for a raise
132. Made a hole-in-one
133. Gone deep sea fishing
134. Gone roller skating
135. Ran a marathon
136. Learned to surf
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class
139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sang a solo
143. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love-story
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait painted
148. Written a fan letter
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane
151. Ran away
152. Learned to juggle
153. Been a boss
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight
156. Gone on a diet
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem
159. Carried your lunch in a lunch box
160. Gotten food poisoning
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Hiked the Grand Canyon
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
164. Gone to the opera
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous
166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator
172. Had a revelatory dream
173. Thought you might crash in an airplane
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
175. Saved someone’s life
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
178. Laughed till your side hurt
179. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival
182. Sent a message in a bottle
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union
187. Donated blood or plasma
188. Built a camp fire
189. Kept a blog
190. Had hives (when I sang a solo)
191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube
196. Know CPR (not to where I would feel secure using it- but if I had to, I would)
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible
198. Found a long lost friend
199. Helped solve a crime
200. Responded to a NJP newsletter

The Ugly shoes have arrived

For some crazy reason- we allowed the outpatient to spend an unhealthy amount of money on a pair of shoes. To be fair, they were for his Christmas and most of the money came from both sets of grandparents- but we also just let him spend an insane amount of money to ship the shoes home. They arrived today- and I don't even want to open them. I am also laughing at some of the other things he sent home- like Ensigns and newspaper clippings I sent him to keep him up to date with the happenings of his friends and cousin. Apparently they do not have garbage cans in Brazil- Go figure.

Good Food Friday -Grateful for my sisters edition

Last year, my sister gave me a "thought a day" calendar. Today's thought is "Are there any brothers who do not criticize a bit and make fun of the fiance who is stealing a sister from them?" Colette

This really doesn't apply to me or my older sister because our brothers were too young to even care, although I understand the other two sisters can relate.

I never once in all my life wished for an older brother, my younger brothers were more than enough thank you very much. But I am so glad I had an older sister. Notice I did not say bigger sister, because, quite frankly, I have been bigger than her since 6th grade. In honor of my beloved OLDER sister, I will share her cinnamon roll recipe.

D's Cinnamon Rolls

1 C lukewarm water
2 TB yeast
1/2 C sugar
Add together and let sit until bubbly.

3/4 C lukewarm milk
1 egg
1/3 C margarine (or butter)
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp lemon extract
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp salt
5-6 cups of flour- or until you can handle the dough but it's still slightly sticky.

Add these to the yeast mix.
Place in a greased bowl and let rise until double.

You will also need brown sugar, cinnamon, powdered sugar, milk, and more butter.

Meanwhile- slightly grease a baking sheet, then dot with small pats of butter. Sprinkle with brown sugar.

Once dough has raised, preheat the oven to 400-F.

On a greased counter, roll out dough into a large rectangle- the wider the rectangle, the bigger the rolls- I usually go about double the length as the width- so my rolls are about palm size. Spread the dough with softened butter, sprinkle generously with cinnamon (or to taste) until dough is covered, then cover with brown sugar. You can get creative with orange rind, and or chopped nuts at this point, too.

roll up dough from the wide side, then cut into 1" to 1 1/2" thick slices. Place on prepared pan and bake for 12 to 15 minutes- until light golden brown across the tops.

Make glaze- melt 2/3 C or so of butter. Add small amount of vanilla if desired. Then add enough powdered sugar to make a thick paste. Dilute with milk until it makes a thin icing. Once the rolls are baked, remove from oven, and drizzle with the icing.

Delish! And not too time consuming. My sister makes them up and freezes them before baking sometimes- But a warning, if my BIL is arround- never- ever forget the icing! :)

Tender Mercies- part II

I would be horribly remiss if I did not take a minute to add to my tender mercy list. Tonight I spoke with my mother- she went to the Oncologists today. He does not currently have enough information to make the best treatment plan. She will require a few more tests, but here is a mercy- there is only one machine, and it travels around to Ogden, American Fork, and St George. Anyone want to guess where that machine is TOMORROW???? She mentioned to me that she has been so lucky, she has been on the medical fast track, thanks to her Doctor- who, incidentally, used to change my diapers when he was a premed student and he and his wife became friends with my parents. Anyone who has needed to get into specialists and have specialized tests done will realize how "lucky" this is. I reminded her that luck had nothing to do with it. She concurred, saying, "I am being blessed from above" I couldn't agree more.

When having a test done, the nurse asked her when her prior CTscan was, and Mom told her- she was shocked. She said usually people have to wait three weeks to get in. LUCKY!

Mom is very positive, and upbeat. She has been diagnosed with NON Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Now we have to see what kind (how aggressive, responsive) and how far it has spread. A very good sign is there is no sign in her blood work yet- which usually signifies that it is early. The more aggressive is ironically the easiest to cure- the less aggressive can be sent into remission, sometimes for a very long time. She is 63, and told the doctor she has to be healthy by March because she has three grandbabies on the way! Got to love her attitude! She is amazing- I admit I bawled my eyes out last night, more from the standpoint of "hasn't she been through enough, already-". Her doctor told her one of the best things she has going for her is her positive attitude, WHICH WE SHOULD ALL TRY TO ADOPT- ATTITUDE ACCOUNTS FOR A WHOLE LOT IN HEALING AND MIRACLES- yes, I am talking to you.

This is rather long, but there are certain patients around the globe whom I don't want to worry any more than absolutely necessary.

I love and appreciate you-

Tender Mercies Tuesday

The Lord works in mysterious ways. I cannot begin to fathom the events of this week, but let me start by sharing a few little tender mercies.

Last Friday, the first words out of my mouth were, our son isn't a teenager anymore. The day was dragging, and I was fine to drag with it. Around 2:00, I got a text from the Outpatient's friend, S. He asked me about the BYU game and if we were going out or staying home. We texted back and forth a little. I then told him not to text and drive. He was obedient :) He stopped driving right at my house. He was in town for a little bit and thought he would come wish Happy Birthday. It cheered me up a lot. Then, the Outpatient's friend- K. texted me, and she ended up being in town as well, and came over and had treats with me and the youngest patient. Thus the anniversary of my motherhood was made happier.

Sunday morning, I woke up and decided I needed to clear up the counter a little, and reached for my purse which reminded me that my cell phones were not in there, so I picked up one and opened it to check the battery- AND SHOCKER!!!! There was a text message sent about 20 min, prior from Brazil. Made my whole day!! His name was Sergio and my son was with him, and I was so excited. Those little blessings can bring such joy and peace.

Monday was a tough day, so it is good that I had some happy on the weekend.

My family was just sitting down to eat when my other cell phone rang. Thinking it was work, I reluctantly answered it. It was my sister. She sounded so upbeat at first that I was totally unprepared for what came next. My mother has cancer.

I know not what the Lord has in store for my family. It seems never ending. We think we have conquered one hurdle, and then we see more on the track. I don't even know where to focus my thoughts.

Then, tonight I received word that my sister-in-law is pregnant. This is a tough situation as she has had many difficulties having children, and my heart is full for the battle they are facing to try to bring a little one into the world.

The most tender mercy of all is that our Father in Heaven knows each and every one of us. He knows our fears, doubts, concerns. He knows our joys, loves, gifts. He watches over us and strengthens us to meet these trials.

Prayer is a power. Please join us as we pray for our family.

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY OUTPATIENT

AGE 19- SEPTEMBER 2007

We have a few traditions for the birthday patient around here. If you were the special event, your day would start out with breakfast of your choice on the BLUE PLATE with gold flatwear and crystal goblet

You would get a cake made by your own head nurse that either is the theme of your party or the theme of your life.

You sometimes get a wall mural of your lovely face. This one started in 2001- just one day after 9/11- the outpatient's 13th birthday. I had it all planned to do to his locker at school but with the events of the day, I didn't leave the house, watched the news instead. (He was glad about me not doing his locker)

When it is your last "kid" birthday, you may get all three, plus a few blasts from the past. On the first birthday, the babies in our family get their own teddy bear cake- both the decor and the eating were reenacted, other than this time you only needed one hand, and the whole head fit in your mouth instead of just an ear. You get the cake all to yourself, which is good because you are a piggie! You stay a whole lot cleaner this time. You get dinner of your choice, too, Dad makes you ribs.

Your wall mural is much bigger because you have had so many pictures. This mural will stay on the wall for weeks because your mommy can't bring herself to take it down. You might even recreate the poses because you are goofy like that.



And your mommy might just wonder how she is going to celebrate the day you made her a mommy when you are not here.






The Theme of your life-



The Brazilian Photo Pose as created by the Outpatient.

Sept 11, 2001

I was awakened by the phone ringing. It was my Father in Law, telling me that a plane had been flown in to the WTC. I was not really awake enough to process what he was telling me, but I got up and turned on the TV- and became horrified by the events unfolding. I called my family to spread the word, and then spent the day watching, and trying to explain to my little children what was happening, and why. Always the WHY- Why do people hate so very much, WHY do they value human life so little, WHY do they think we will take attacks lying down, WHY is there such an apparent lack of logical thought.

I had a full day planned preparing for my oldest child's 13th birthday on the following day. Almost none of it got done. It paled in comparison of importance. All those people who would never celebrate another birthday. We did celebrate his birthday, although more subdued than originally planned.

We later learned that the DR's Aunt Cindy and her husband were okay. They were serving a mission not far from there, and by a tender mercy, were actually on a ferry, away from the towers, but they had to stand there and watch it all- helpless, not knowing for sure what was happening because they only saw the first plane hit, but when the second one hit, they knew it couldn't be an accident.



I will always associate the outpatient's birthday with the bombing of the WTC and the Pentagon. To those people who lost loved ones in that horrific act of complete cowardice and inhumanity, I am so very, very sorry. I know that time doesn't ever take away that loss, and it will be a scar that we will all carry throughout our lives.

The DR had to fly for work shortly afterwards. A few days later in fact. I was not worried for some reason. I guess I felt that security was better then than it had been a few days before. He however called me on the drive to the airport with instructions on what to do if anything should happen. We have had these talks before, but not for a while had anything brought to our attention how very fragile life is. He also told me that if need be, he would take every action he could to prevent something from happening like that ever again. I think most people feel that way, but as time rolls on, we are returning to our lax way of thinking and acting. Let us not EVER forget what a few people are capable of doing. Because of those few who caused this great tragedy, and those few who sacrificed to keep it from getting any worse.

Think About It

"Whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want.”

- C.S. Lewis

Think About It

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

How many times have we heard that saying, and then thought about how badly we want something. My mom used to remind me how badly I wanted these patients of mine when I would gripe to her about something. I would always respond- yes, I wanted these patients, just not so lumped together like they are with barely 4 years total between them. There are advantages to them being a little older, they can get themselves dressed and even fed, but they fight even more than before, and by the time I get done with all the homework, piano lessons, and other events, I am exhausted. When they were tiny, I was exhausted by the hands on care, but less emotionally exhausted. Last night I watched a show about a family who had twin girls and then had sextuplets- and I dreamed that I was having twins which turned in to triplets somewhere along the dream. I was actually stunned but happy in the dream.


I think we often wish for the next stage in life, but when we get it, we realize that there are some pretty serious trade offs. We wish ourselves past the baby/toddler stage, only to find that the school stage requires even more than we thought. By the end of this year, I will have done 6th grade math for the third time, 4th grade math for the 4th time, and second grade for the 5th time. Hopefully I will finally pass 2nd grade :) (Oh, and I really do hope I get that!)

Tender Mercies Tuesday

As is to be expected, this week my thoughts are a little occupied with the outpatient. His birth story is full of tender mercies, starting before he even did.

Before the DR and I got married, we had talked about a family, and had both agreed that we wanted to wait a couple of years before having kids, but within two months- that changed, not that we were already on our way, but that we felt we should be. So we changed our plans. Little did we know that having a family was going to be a little difficult for us.

For me to detail out the many, many mercies, this post would take several hours, so I will try to keep it brief.

- my sister had been a nurse at UVRMC, and knew who the best OB/GYN was, so that is who I got into. He wasn't accepting new OB's but I had seen him for other issues first, so I was considered an exisiting patient.

- I felt very strongly that I needed a blessing, which wasn't as easy as you might think, but I persevered.

- my OB felt concerned about the heart rate and sent me to the hospital rather early in the game.

- There just happened to be a fetal heart specialist touring the hospital while I just happened to be having an ultrasound, and when he took one look at the machine, he said that the baby was in heart failure. Which started a major chain of events including an overnight stay at the hospital to begin medication.

-Three times a week, I went for an ultrasound, then blood draws, then a phone call from the hospital telling me how much medicine to take, up until July 23- when the ultrasound showed that unless the baby was moving, his heart was not working right. Oh, and one other tiny detail- I was toxic and had to get the medicine level lowered.

- Even though it was very stressful, I was able to remain calm, except for 2 times when I stressed out a little. The Lord brought peace to me through a personal revelation that my son would be born, and it would be okay.

I recognized the many blessings then, but they took on even more signifigance as the years went by and we were unable to have any other children for many years. The unique tapestry of events that brought our first born safely into the world has made me convinced that he has a work to do here. He was carefully watched over and protected, medical intervention provided through means that were very unusual at the time.

10 years later, when I went to my "regularly scheduled" ultrasound with the middle patient, I though back to the releases and what have you I had to sign with my first born and marveled at the blessing that piece of equipment had been in my life, and the life of my son.

Weekend summation

The Dr missed me. I asked him why- he said just because. He left Thursday night, the youngest and I went out for her doctor appt, and saw him and Grandpa just before they headed to the airport and they were home by Sunday early evening. I talked to him three or four times, but he missed me :)

The youngest patient and I went out to her appt, ran a few errands, and drove back home, which makes for a long day, but she can be so adorable. She drew a picture for the specialist back in May. When she gave it to him, I was hoping beyond that he had children and would be nice about her gift. He was wonderful- and told her he would put it on his wall. Guess what? He did! There in his office was her lovely artwork. I was shocked- not only that he had gone to the trouble, but that it was still there three months later.

All the driving put a kink in my back (different than my normal crappy back problems) so my grandiose plans for the weekend didn't quite work out- but we did get the house straightened to a tolerable level, and the kids got to play with friends.

Sunday, the oldest patient had a board of review, which he missed several months ago or he would already be past his second class, but oh well- live and learn. My lesson in Primary/ Sunday School was covering 3 Nephi 8 - 11, when Christ visited the Americas- and it is such a good lesson, I was frustrated when we ran out of time- hope the kids grasped the importance of reading and studying it for themselves.

I had a hard time getting up this morning, but got the patients off, the house straightened, and sat down to work by 9:00, worked until 1:00 and just got back from walking for an hour. I will reverse the effects of my surgery one way or another- Oh and I am now 2 months with only 3 total candy bars or the like. Can you believe it? It about kills me to get through the checkout- so I avoid the store. :) Can't eat candy if you don't buy it.

Francis

When the youngest Patient was born, I was in a bad position. It had been a painful and difficult pregnancy, I had been trying to keep up with a three year old and a two year old not to mention my 12 year-old's life and activities. Poor youngest patient never got the blanket that I bought fabric for and planned to make. Each of my kids has their blanket- but not the little missy-

She does, however, have Francis.





Francis was lovingly made for her by her aunt, the lunch lady. Francis goes with her everywhere and it is very well loved. I noticed the other day when I was folding her, that she is getting to look a little worn around the edges. This is both a sad and a happy.

Sad because she (Francis) will be a raggy thing someday all too soon, (she is 7 after all), but happy because I don't think my SIL dreamt that Francis would be so adored- maybe hoped it, but not dreaming that she would be christened with an honest to goodness name, drug around in cars, trucks, wagons, camping trailers, you name it.

When I mentioned that Francis was looking a little "loved", the youngest patient was quite concerned, and told me that she "would try not sleeping with Francis, so she would not wear out". As you can see, that didn't work. It is okay. My nephew has his "B", which is 20 years old, nothing much left to it, but he took it to college and Bulgaria :)





Thank you so very much Lunch Lady, for filling that special place that a special blankie provided for my baby. Maybe when the youngest patient is a mom, I will make her baby the quilt I had planned for her, after all, I still have the fabric.

Good Food Friday- DR's out of town edition-

When the DR is out of town- it is hard to get motivated to cook a full meal- which is weird because my patients can EAT- but cold cereal won't kill them if they eat it for dinner right?

Anyway- no I didn't make them eat cereal- we had tacos- which is NOT the recipe I am sharing- but it is related :)

Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas-

1 pint sour cream
2 10 oz cream of Chicken soup
can of diced green chilis
1-2 lbs of chicken (breast or thighs) cooked and chopped
grated cheese- Cheddar, Monterrey jack-
flour tortillas


You can do this one of two ways- individually rolled enchiladas, or casserole style- I usually prefer casserole style- so-

You mix the sour cream, c of c soup, and chilis together. You put a thin layer in the bottom of your casserole dish, then you tear the tortillas into smaller pieces and lay them solid across the pan. You then layer chicken, sauce mix, grated cheese, tortilla pieces, chicken, sauce mix, grated cheese, tortillas, sauce mix, grated cheese- I usually can't get more than two layers with chicken, but if you have a deep pan, you might. Bake at 350 for 30 to 40 minutes until heated well throughout.

If you have a non-cheese eater like I do, then you might want to do the individual enchiladas- start the same up to putting some sauce in the pan, then take a tortilla, place about 2 TBS chicken, some cheese, and a little of the sauce- make some without the cheese and place those to one side of the pan. When the pan is full, cover with remaining sauce and top with grated cheese. Cook the same.

You can also leave the chilis out of the sauce and sprinkle on a layer of them separately, but I am all for faster and easier- I also sneak cheese in the casserole version by only using Monterrey Jack- what he doesn't see- he eats. :)

Think About It

Today's think about it topic- I didn't have one really- been way to busy to think I guess- until I came across this on Emily Watts' blog- hope she doesn't mind if I quote her- She was blogging about watching the Olympics-

"Here was the thing that really got to me. One of the Chinese gymnasts made a major blunder, and he still ended up getting a higher score than some guys who seemed to have been almost perfect. And that, of course, was because he had a higher "start value." His routine was a lot more difficult, so he got more points up front for that, which made up for the points deducted for his missteps. Of course, since I'm not a gymnast, I don't really know what moves are the hardest, so it's a good thing I'm not judging because I'd probably vote for the routine that seemed flawless, when maybe that competitor wasn't nearly as skilled in the end.

What I wish is that I could remember to be astute enough to apply the same kind of scoring in my own parenting. Some kids are just plain harder to parent than others. And all kids are harder at certain stages of their lives than they are at other times. Shouldn't I be factoring in the degree of difficulty when I'm evaluating my own success? In the end, maybe I'm more skilled than I'm giving myself credit for.

And I"ll bet you are too."

And on my sister's blog- she posted this-

"Superbella!

There is always a mix of emotion that comes when my children join the masses of mindless television watchers. I am always so happy and relieved at this development and then I feel guilty that I am so happy and relieved. Good mothers don't let their toddlers watch TV do they? I have found a way to justify it with every child. With Talia it was a way to get some much needed sleep. Calvin was a horrible sleeper as a baby and I could just put on "Tramp" and I knew I had an hour and a half of shut eye. With Calvin it was the fact that he was addicted to horses. Watching Spirit made him so happy. With Kate it was Dumbo and it was used to soothe her when the other two went outside without her. Ava now requests Superbella (Cinderella) on a regular (5 to 6 times a day) basis. I justify it with Ava because she is so busy it gets her to sit still for a minute. I justify it because all the kids leave her in the afternoon and she is lonely. I justify it because it can get her to do what she is doing in the picture and I can do likewise if I wish. That really is Superbella."

I wish we could all feel like we are SUPERMOM all the time. We don't, and many of us aren't (pointing fingers at the mirror), but I like the image of our "start values". What a concept! I have nieces and nephews that have been really easy for their parents- they have had trials in their lives, but they have- themselves- been easier kids. Most of the clan, however, have way too much of an independence streak in them to just come quietly- my own included. That must mean they have a higher "start value". I am going to remind myself that I just might medal in this mom thing after all- might be made of playdough- but hey- a medal is a medal.

Past and Future Tag

My SIL had this one on her post today- made me think, and I decided- Why not?


20 Years Ago-

1. Was my official due date with the Outpatient-no, he was not cooperative even after my Mom and the DR made me walk the mall on my swollen feet/legs for hours.
2. I was working for Computerland, which lead to my working as a sales assistant for the top salesman, which then led to me managing the store-
3. The DR was working towards finishing his degree at BYU.
4. We were unknowingly headed for a huge trial in our family.


15 years ago-

1. The Outpatient was getting ready to turn 5.
2. My sister had just given birth to her third and I was in the middle of infertility treatments.
3. I had a tubal pregnancy which required emergency surgery while I was at my sister's to help her with her kids- oh the chaos!
4. The DR and I began discussing adoption. It would be another year before we started the paperwork.


10 years ago-

1. The Middle Patient was 1 month old.
2. The Oldest Patient was 1 1/2, his adoption finalized a year earlier, and he had given us a huge scare when he fell down my in laws laundry hole to the basement floor.
3. The Outpatient was getting ready to turn 10, and met his best friend for the last 10 years.
4. We had lived in our house for one year!


5 Years ago-

1. I was recovering from a hysterectomy, which my super sister came to be my personal nurse.
2. The Youngest Patient was 2 1/2.
3. Several members of my family were having mental health crises- it was without a doubt the darkest and hardest times of our lives.
4. The Outpatient finally started to grow- and eventually got taller than his momma.


3 Years ago-

1. The Outpatient was not my friend- until November, when he broke his wrist playing hockey. Then he became my friend again.
2. The oldest patient had been baptised the past winter.
3. We got a puppy for Christmas- her name is Sophie-
4. My youngest patient was starting her last year of preschool.


1 Year ago-

1. My Outpatient had graduated from High School, received and accepted a call from the prophet to serve a mission in Brazil, and we were rapidly approaching his departure date, and he had just gone to the Temple for the first time.
2. My sister was in the middle of her first round of chemo for breast cancer, and had been in a very bad car wreck in April.
3. In February, my baby sister had been hit by a car while riding her scooter to work- I got to take care of her baby for a week while she was in the hospital.
4. My father had surgery on his leg in June, the DR's dad had three different heart procedures done in one surgery- very scary, and then my dad ended up with a dead gall bladder, which caused a major medical emergency for him as well.

This year-

1. I am almost as heavy not pregnant as I got when I was pregnant- NOT GOOD!
2. We are almost to the 1 Year mark for the Outpatient. And I am becoming a pro at mailing packages to Brazil.
3. Other than the Sister's shoulder- the family's health is much improved over a year ago.
4. The oldest Patient is in middle school, Middle Patient is in 4th, and the youngest is in 2nd- while the Outpatient is almost 20!!!!! No teenagers for a few years.

Yesterday-

1. I worked all long day.
2. I almost completely assembled the middle patient's dresser.
3. I wrote my oldest son- miss him still- not getting easier, really.
4. I worked all day long- oh, did I already mention that?

Today-

1. I registered the girls for dance, went to the grocery store, and bank.
2. Checked three kids' homework.
3. Laundry- I actually got three loads done- Hurray for my limping dryer.
4. Walked laps for 1.5 hours

Tomorrow-

1. Kids start back to piano lessons
2. Dr leaves for Seattle trip
3. Shop the case lot sale
4. Walk and work-

Next Year-

1- Youngest will be baptised- how did that happen?
2- Outpatient will be almost home!!!
3- Outpatient will be almost home!!!!!
4- several new family members-, oh, and did I mention the Outpatient will almost be home?

Tender Mercies Tuesday

The day is almost over- and no- I didn't forget. It was "payroll monday" on a Tuesday following a three-day, end of summer, holiday. I worked all day, made dinner, and then began my little project- putting together the middle patient's new dresser.

My number one tender mercy was just exactly what I asked for. After searching for the past two weeks- I finally found my camera charger- not more than 20 minutes before we headed out of town to meet up with our friends and watch some football!!! Hurray! I keep meaning to write things down, but then I forget. One that I was especially grateful for was remembering where I put my bottle of pop- before it froze and exploded all over my SIL's freezer-

I am not sure how tender it is- but it is surely merciful of my SIL to put up with us all of the time :) Thanks JUBU!

We had some more wonderful news- my niece, Ash, who was married this past spring, just informed us that she is also on the Stork Delivery Route! That will make me a Great Aunt two more times over, plus the other special deliveries which will make me an Aunt a lot of times over- 50 times over to be exact! Remember Ash! If it is a boy- the Out patient has dibs on the name :)

I am so thankful for my abilities to fix and or make things. I know it drives my MIL a little nuts that I do things she would never dream of doing "man jobs" but the Lord blessed me with a mechanical mind for a reason- and as long as the DR isn't offended- why worry? I would wait an awfully long time to get stuff done if I didn't do it myself- the DR is just too busy.

I am thankful it is Tuesday night. I am getting off here to email my outpatient and then get some sleep as I didn't get any last night- long story- but although I love THAI food- it does not like me so much.

The Lord watches over us. He does not stop our trials, but he makes them easier to bear when we let him. Turn it over to Him- he has big shoulders.

Rise and Shout- The Cougars won out-

This past Saturday marked the beginning of my weekend football widow season, although I completely broke with tradition and attended the game with the DR. The reason? Our wonderful friends/family were in town. We all met for lunch- which oddly enough only stuck with me about halfway across the parking lot- then I was making a beeline back to the ladies room- not a great beginning. Anyway, the game was okay- the DR was a little lost without his buddies, but they are off to Seattle for the game this coming weekend and all will be good in his football kingdom again. The Cougs played okay- almost fell apart in the third quarter- but won handily.

We headed home and straight up on the mountain, where we spent the night with a tremendous thunderstorm pouring down on us, which didn't break until almost noon. The Dr then took off to hunt, the patients and I had lunch, and then headed home to have some semblence of control over life before school tomorrow. Plus it is payroll :( lovely for me.

Yesterday marked a year anniversary of the Outpatient's Endowment. Wow! And in just 11 short days he will no longer be a teenager. His birthday will be an odd day for me, I am sure. Of all celebrations while he is gone, this is the only one that is uniquely his and his alone.
Wish me luck.