The past returns

Did you ever feel like a nobody growing up? Like no matter what you did, you were just a thing? Just when I feel like my childhood feelings of inadaquacies and non-importance are being conquered- I get slapped in the face.

On the Eve of the New Year

2008- What a year! Filled with joys and sorrows, trials and blessings beyond measure.

I have a feeling that it is just going to continue every year to be like the last two have been. I hope we are up to the challenges ahead.

At the close of the year, I am most grateful for my wonderful husband, whom I rely on for so much. I am very grateful for the Outpatient, my firstborn child and son, for his example and love. I am grateful for the Oldest inpatient, for the amazing gift he has been in our lives. I am grateful for the Middle patient, for her determination and tender heart. I am grateful for the Youngest Patient and her open nature and compassionate heart.


As I look ahead to 2009, I hope to loose much of the weight that has been following me around. I look forward to the baptism of my youngest child. I also look forward to the arrival of several babies, and the return of the Outpatient. To family vacations, time spent together in the mountains we love, and the many beauties that are in this world. I look forward to teaching the oldest patient in primary, and to supporting the DR in his calling as EQ Pres.

There is much to look forward to.

May you all have a peaceful and hope filled New Year. See you in 2009.

Tender Mercies Tuesday-- UPDATE

This week has had a few tender mercies, with the most noticeable being BIL J. Accident. He was using his skidster which is a very heavy, like 12,000 pounds heavy, piece of equipment. Had he not been using that, and been using his pickup instead, he and his neighbor would have at the very least been very seriously injured. The impact of the wreck moved that beast of a vehicle about 10 feet.

The second was that when he went under the skidster, and it moved, he was between the tracks, not under them.

A not great thing is that the Police were pathetic in their "investigation". They didn't even drug test a guy who ran head on into a huge piece of equipment with bright headlights on. WHAT????? The guy also claimed he was only driving 15 to 20 mph. Well, that means he was driving a TANK if he moved the skidster that far. I mean, who is he trying to kid?

Anyway, BIL J has multiple facial fractures, and will be having surgery to fix that.

UPDATE: BIL J will be having surgery Wednesday morning at UVRMC-

Grandma B had a rough first day of chemo on Friday, due to having both the chemo and the followup shot on the same day because it was Friday. But she was feeling better on Saturday, so that was good.

Our family has been so very blessed this week.

Happy Birthday to my Dad

Let me start by saying that my parents were born almost as far apart in the same year as is possible. My mom was the New Year baby in 1945, and my dad very nearly closed out the year.

My dad is the third of four; oldest son. He met my mom in high school, and were married just shortly after he graduated. They will have been married for 45 years in May; 20 of those years have been since his accident, also in May.

My dad went to school to be a physicist, he is very good at math, but with two kids and a wife, he left school to support his family. My dad played basketball and softball clear up until his accident at the age of 43. Scary that I am almost that old. He also was a ref and umpire, and taught both as well. He also took up golf, took Karate, was a reader, and usually very healthy. When he decided to be sick, he did it with great gusto. His ruptured appendix ended up keeping him in the hospital for several weeks. He was the general contractor for our home, and did much of the actual construction, plumbing, and electrical by himself. He could sing just like Elvis- especially in the mornings.

He was okay with my sister getting married, but less than thrilled to have another fly the coop shortly after, even though he liked the DR just fine. When my sis had her first child, he refused to be "grandpa", he told everyone he was the father of the bride, end of story. Six months later, when the Outpatient was born, he had adjusted to Grandpa. He adored the Outpatient, and they had a fun 8 months before his accident dumped all of our lives on end.

The past 20 years have brought much hardship, medical complications, triumphs, struggles.

Happy 63rd Birthday- for three whole days you are the same age as mom- then she is older again.

Weekend What's up

Yesterday, the DR and I took two of the Outpatient's friends for a snowmobile ride. I have never been stuck in my life and yesterday- three- count them- three times. What in the world?

The DR's brother, J, and his family went up a little earlier than we did, and we passed them as they were headed back home. We headed home around 5:30- it was dark, and cold, but hopefully the friends had fun.

We went and picked up the rest of the patients at Grandma's, had a quick dinner, and were halfway home when we got a call that brother J had been hit by a truck. He had been helping a neighbor who was stuck, and ever so luckily was driving his skidster instead of his pick up- more tender mercies as both men were protected from serious harm, although brother J will have to have several of the bones in his face pinned together as soon as the swelling goes down. The tender mercies I will detail on Tuesday.

When they called brother M, they found out that his family had done some emergency room time themselves, as our nephew had to have stitches in his face from being cut on ice.

Hope everyone can get through today without any more mishaps, but Thank You, Heavenly Father, for Thy protecting hand over our extended family.

Traditioooooonnn! Tradition! (times six)

I debated not posting this tradition at all, or not posting the pic because the DR and I look a whole lot of scary. I hoped to take a different picture- which I still may- when we look a little less frightening, but it will be totally off the subject if I try to post it later, but if I get a new picture, I will change it. But then again most of you have seen us even worse :)

This tradition isn't very original- but it is the CHRISTMAS JAMMAS!,

The Outpatient's are wrapped, under the tree, so next year he can open two. It is summer for him, so he has no need for warm jammas.

Good Food Friday (Almost not on Friday) II (dips)

I am slacking :)

One of the best parts of the holiday season is all the good food there is to eat. For those of you who like dips to eat with chips, here are a couple of our favorites.


Shrimp and Cream Cheese: (S.I.L. A.)

2- 8 oz cream cheese
1- 4 oz can tiny shrimp, drained
juice from one lemon

Mix with electric mixer until well blended.

This one we prefer with a plain, ridged, potato chip-



As we call it:

Frito Dip- because we eat it with Fritos: (Sis- Amyrinkis)

1 lb of Jimmy Dean Original Sausage, browned and drained.
2- 8 oz pkg cream cheese (room temp)
1- 10 oz can of Ro-Tel Tomatoes- Original with green chilis and cilantro

This is a warm dip, so as soon as you drain the grease from the sausage, put the sausage in with the cream cheese and stir with a spoon until it is well blended. The sausage will make the dip chunky. Then add the can of Ro-Tel.

If you want it spicier- then use the hotter Ro-Tel, or for mild, use the mild Ro-Tel. Some people like this dip when it has been chilled, but I like it best warm, so I will microwave it if it gets too cool.

December 26-

Christmas was a good day- after a little bump first thing, but it was all good after that. The patients were thrilled with their haul- and I do mean haul. There are children out there that receive more than mine, but I can't even fathom that. They and the DR are all ready for the snow, with new boots and what have you. Thank goodness they didn't all need completely new gear- or it would have been bad :).

Today, is Grandma Bunnie's 5th Chemo treatment. We will all be glad when this is behind her. As I am typing this, disgusting, life threatening, but life saving chemicals are being pumped into her body. What a strange concept. We are praying that when she finally gets to have the cancelled PET scan, the nastiness will have done its job.

Now, I need to go help my house and laundry recover from the past two days activites.

Happy Boxing Day!

A Little Christmas Time Miracle

Yes, Patients- there really is a Santa Claus. He really did shock the socks off of you when he came to our house while we were out driving around looking at the Christmas lights instead of coming while you were fast asleep, dreaming of cameras and Rockband, forget the sugarplums.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was seen- we don't have a mouse. There wasn't a moon, it was threatening snow, so the only lights were from the Christmas tree's glow.

When what to our wondering eyes did we see, but that you had visited early this Eve. Surprise of Surprise, our stockings were packed, full of good wishes and this and that.

As patients exclaimed and oohed and ahhed, I was grateful for you, dear Santa Claus. For sharing, this one time, my tradition held dear. Back to normal for them, will you come next year.

But for one fleeting moment a memory secure. None will forget it of that I am sure.

And so, my dear family and friends so bright, Miracles happen on Christmas Eve Night.

Merry Christmas and may you have your own miracles.

The Phone Call

Well, today has not gone as planned. It started with the uxexpected email at 2:00 am, telling me that the Outpatient would be having his call today- as in NOT TOMORROW. It progressed to me waiting for him until 3:45 for a confirmation, which he didn't send until 5:30- which I did not read (I was sleeping- imagine that) until a phone call at 6:00.

Long story short:

He is great, working his tail off in service, has wonderful companions and loves his head nurse- aka mommy. He also just ran into a man from his first area who was his first real- "sit down conversation" in Portuguese. They passed each other on the street of Campinas- which is about 2 million people. Outpatient was on the phone, but recognized the man, but not sure where from. Man came back, he also recognized Outpatient and he let him know his Portuguese is much improved (one would hope- after a year :) )

As I mentioned previously, just hearing his voice for a few minutes is an amazing thing.

Now- 4 and 1/2 months until the next time- which will be the half way to home mark.

Goodness, I miss him as bad as when he first left. That part hasn't changed. But I feel so blessed to be his mom. He is an amazing young man.

Traditioooooonnn! Tradition! (times five)

Oldest- Youngest- Middle

Christmas Eve is a night of many traditions for most people. Here at the looney bin, there are a few- okay- there is ONE measly little tradition that the DR let me keep from my youth. Fondue for dinner. Wouldn't it just figure that it would be the one that is Food related, and the most work for me.

Growing up, we held to the tradition of my great grandparents who came from Norway and Sweden. Santa Claus came on Christmas eve while we were out running errand and delivering final gifts. We would all come home and HE HAD COME!!!! He was pretty darn spry that jolly old elf. After a few minutes to investigate the gifts he had brought, we would pass out all the presents to everyone. We all had our "spots". Mine was on the end of the fireplace- hearth- what ever you call that thing. Anyway, Dad would say who started, and then we would go around, opening one at a time as it came to our turn. We would finish by around 1:00 am- then we would all go to bed. In the morning, we woke up whenever, and played with our new things. Mom and Dad always slept in. How I envy them now.

My first Christmas away from home as a newly wed, was one I will never forget. Staying up late, then having to wake up early, just to sit on the stairs with my new sisters-in-law and wait until Grandma M. was ready to wake up. DR's sis, T, was a major early riser, darn her. Anyway. I had called my family the night before where they were all in the thick of tradition and I was not. To make it worse, my sister, D, was home from Texas, and I didn't even get to see her. I was a very homesick new wife.

I wish I had stuck up for my traditions a whole lot harder. And kept his family's pizza for dinner. Okay- not really on that last part.

My rather attractive patients in their new Christmas finery.

Tender Mercies Tuesday- not very late

Tender Mercy- I had just finished emailing the outpatient at 1:45 am, went to do a couple of things and go to bed. For some reason, I decided to check my emails one more time to see what work was in. Shocker- email FROM the outpatient. His mission president has told them that the calls will need to be made on Christmas Eve- not Christmas. Talk about surprise. So, it is now 3:18 and I haven't heard back from him because he is too busy. But- apparently I will be communicating with the outpatient a whole lot earlier than I anticipated.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Sub For Santa

Last night, our friends and our family got together to plan, shop, and deliver a Sub for Santa to a young family in our area. The children all had fun deciding what gifts to give to the two small boys and wrapping them for secret delivery. It was a good experience, but I think we will apply the Christmas Jar to the event next year so that our children can more actively participate. Our children have so much. When grandparents call for gift ideas, I am usually stuck, because they have so much already and don't like keeping things cleaned up. They are very spoiled and need to learn to give of themselves.

For Christmas Eve, I think I will get a jar ready, and we will fill it and deliver it to someone in need next December. The kids will all get the chance to see the jar fill, and it might make giving to others more meaningful for them.

The DR was rather perturbed because one of the patients picked up something for their own, while we were shopping for the family (I had picked up a few items and so had my friend- not for us personally- per se, but things we knew we needed from the store so it didn't really faze me until he said something to that patient about it). It really bothered me when I noticed that what the DR said seemed to have no effect on the patient. I pointed out three times how disappointing that attitude was before a different decision was made.

My patients are a tad self centered.

Tonight they will have their piano recital, which for the past several years has meant performing at the Care Center, and they will give each of the residents a hand made Christmas Card.

My patients need to learn to give.

The outpatient is learning to be Christ-centered, and to give of himself. The others need to learn a bit sooner. Before they seek outpatient therapy.

Any ideas or thoughts on how you are teaching these concepts?

Traditioooooonnn! Tradition! (times four)

Every year, the patients get a new ornament of their very own. Sometimes they are picked out by yours truly, and other times, I let go of my control freak tendencies and let them pick out their own. When I pick them, it is usually either from a trip, or some other thing that represents what is going on in their life. Which is why my daughters have hockey and ballet ornaments on their tree. I also have two patients that if I EVER see their name on just about anything- I buy it. So, they have a few extras as well.

The patients also have trees in their rooms for them to decorate BY THEMSELVES- thus they leave me alone to do My tree.

I haven't taken a picture of the Oldest's tree- but here for your viewing enjoyment, is the tree belonging to the Middle Patient and the Youngest Patient. If you can see the "tree skirt" on there- it is really a veil that came off of a princess crown. Youngest decided they needed a tree skirt. The fact that it was completely sheer didn't faze her in the least. Maybe we will have to make them one for next year.

When my patients leave for their own looney bins- they will not have a nearly nekid tree like the DR and I did. They also will have quite the collections of nutcrackers, and MY piano will be nearly nekid.

Tis the Season

Is there an unwritten rule out there that states that one or more family members must be sick during the holiday season?

Just wondering.

Pass the tissues please.

Happy Birthday Amyrinkus

Happy Birthday to my BLONDE(with a little help) sister.

I was so happy to get a baby sister! For Christmas, we got a baby. She came home to us in a red Christmas Stocking on Christmas Eve. I have a hideous picture of me holding her in a nightgown with curlers in my hair.

When she was born, I didn't realize that I would share my room and my bed with her or I might have been less enthused. We shared for almost 8 years and on a recent phone call we started down memory lane, brought on by the relating of her daughter's recent antics, which sounded a little too familiar. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. Think paint, fingernail polish, and ruined Gunne Sax dresses and Madame Alexander Dolls. No wonder Ava is such a handful, she is her mother's child! LOL!!!!!!

Seriously, I talked to her yesterday, she was beating herself up a little about her MoM skills and the overwhelming feeling of expecting her 5th, and I told her quite truthfully that she is the best mom in our family. She is far more patient with all of her children, Aaron included, than I am with mine. She takes great care of herself, and her family. She also takes good care of our mom.

She has only REALLY been on my bad side a few times. Once, when she twirled my hair into hers during the night, the afore-mentioned paint and fingernail polish incidents. She survived.

Since I am 9 years older than her, we didn't become friends until she was older. I am glad we did. It must have been as hard for her to share with me- a teenager- as it was for me to share with her.

She is AWESOME AMY! Happy Birthday sister!

Traditioooooonnn! Tradition! (times three)

One of our very favorite traditions is collecting and reading Christmas or Seasonal books. We- I- try to find a new special book every year. At least one, but since I am not only a chocoholic but a bookaholic, we usually get more than one.

Sometimes our collection grows through other means. Sometimes friends or family give us books, and we have now collected a rather large bin full of books. As for the nightly reading, that has unfortunately gone to the wayside as our patients have become busier. We are lucky to get the have tos done- let alone the want tos. But the patients all love to get books out of the bin and read, even when it isn't a HAVE TO, but since they all have homework read ing every night, I seldom have to force the issue, because they love to dig through and find books to read.

This year- so far- we have added:

Gingerbread Friends by Jan Brett- our most favorite children's author

Santa Claus- Gift from Grandma

and-

The Polar Express- which I bought because I couldn't believe I hadn't bought it yet.

Too Much of a Good thing

Do you realize that you can indeed have too much of a good thing? I am up at 3:00 am because I had too much yummy food for dinner and my tummy is not happy with me. You want to know the scariest part of that? I have a box of leftovers in my fridge. I could be feeling even worse!

Just felt like communicating.

Happy Birthday to the Youngest Brother

Today is the birthday of the youngest brother. he is even worse than me about pictures- so I don't have many options to share. He is the father of the Nekid Fairy on Thanksgiving and "Binx" and step dad to Gav.

He is also getting old. He is 30. This means my mom only has one child left in their 20's. Wow, mom, you are getting old! :)

Think About It - Communication *UPDATED

I have given a lot of thought to the topic of communication. The past few days it has been on my mind a lot. You see, in a week, I will get to hear the voice of my dearest outpatient after 7 1/2 long months. I don't need to hear it for very long (although I wouldn't complain) but just to hear him, to gauge how he feels through his voice. I am pretty good at picking up stuff in his emails, but the voice-

Communication is such a bonding thing. For instance, take blogging. The DR is boggled by the "blogging phenomena" as he calls it. All of us "weird" people bonding through posts and comments. Some even going to great lengths to meet in RL. A sweet person searching for something for me in Brazil. He just shakes his head.

He also shakes his head when I am talking to friends or family and we reference some other friend or family connection who he has no idea who it is, but I do ( I can't help it- I have a memory for those kinds of things).

I think about how I would handle not hearing from my son on a regular basis. I can't even imagine how much of a stranger he would be to me when he returned, and vice versa- although we are so obnoxious at this house, we are probably changing for the worse to him.

Ancestors who in the past left home and hearth, friends and family, sometimes never hearing from them again. Can't even begin to imagine that in this day of chat, skype, video conferencing, cell phones, internet.

To choose not to communicate seems weird to me.

I want to be shared with, and I want to share my thoughts and experiences. The best times of my week are always the days of communication. I know they are some of his best days too. The only way I know this is because we do communicate.

On the flip side, MIS-communication accounts for a ton of misery and trouble. My personal challenge is to improve the communication at this house so I don't go along with my own agenda in my mind and then get out of whack because someone else wasn't aware of my plans. It happens.

Communication, it seems, is a two way street.

UPDATE: Outpatient communicated today that he doesn't receive any letters, only the packages that I send him monthly. If you are so inclined, drop him a note every so often. He is working so hard to try and accomplish all that is being asked of him, and it will make his heart smile to hear from you. Come on Cousins- your turn will come too.

ELDER L. LARSEN
BRAZIL CAMPINAS MISSION
RUA 10 DE SETEMBRO, 38
CAMBUI- CAMPINAS- SP
13010-215 BRAZIL

Since I email him all the time, I didn't really think about sending other letters besides what I send in his packages. I will do better. He needs the encouragement of a hard copy. Love that boy so much!

Tender Mercies Tuesday

For today- you can read yesterday's entry. Tender Mercy that the outpatient (who always blows off my concern for past health issues) had the presence of mind to double check before taking any foreign meds. I personally think he just wanted to know he could still reach out and touch "someone". Got to love him!

Tender Mercy that Aunty D was readily available.

Tender Mercy that home Dentist called me back as well so I could verify my info with him. And he was impressed with what I could tell him about the Brazilian dentist.

Tender Mercy that my children's Christmas wish of a white Christmas came true- at least it is white for now-

Manic Monday

Mondays are always crazy around here. Add the holiday season, the person who works with me wanting to quit working (bummer), dance recital dress rehearsal with wardrobe work still needing to be done, on top of the fall out from the weekend. Today was shaping up as crazier.

Enter the phone call from Brazil! Nobody wants unexpected phone calls from foreign countries where their babies are at. It is not Christmas yet, after all. After several reassurances that the Outpatient was going to be just fine, however, he has a little medical question. (no- it wasn't him on the phone- that is against the rules) Elder Hillam explained that the outpatient had lost a filling and went to the dentist to have it repaired. Problem is that missionaries in general get a bit stressed and the numbing stuff wasn't working- AT ALL. So, dentist wants to give outpatient a drug to calm him down. But, with his heart history, there was a concern about it being safe. My question- can she administer it to me too? Now that my heart is racing a million beats per second.

Anyway- tender mercy- Aunty D- the Favorite Aunt happens to be a nurse for real, and she happened to not have gone to work yet, and she recognized the medication right off, and no problem- he should be just fine.

I had asked Elder Hillam to give me an hour, because I didn't know how long it would take to translate the drug(he told me it was Portuguese) and find out if it was okay. Nearly 2 hours later, he called back. The Dentist had found an alternative drug to use, but Elder Hillam would pass on that the med should be okay. My son told him to tell me he was sticking his tongue out at me, but he loved me anyways. I told Elder Hillam to tell my son to lay off the candy. End of drama for now. Oh- and they wanted to know how he was going to pay for it. Missions and dental don't mix. But it is all good, and the dentist has done training in Utah-of all places.

Weekend Re-Wired

This was the schedule for this weekend. DR and two girls go to the Wasatch front on Friday after school and girls go watch cousin in Nutcracker Ballet with Grandma L., while oldest patient and I stayed for his hockey games, then we drive out as well. We support the boutique, attend the company Christmas party, and two nephews priesthood ordinations. Drive home together on Sunday afternoon.

Here is what REALLY happened. Middle patient had a rescheduled dance class rehearsal so her trip is a no go. Then we have a little friend "drama". DR and youngest head out. Then friend drama gets resolved. Surprise late night with half the friend drama plus one, turns into dinner at Wendy's and sleep over. Topped with a visit from the outpatients friend, which we laughed hard and talked for 6 hours! This meant I got to bed after 2:00 am. In the meantime, phone call about a surprise singing performance for the girls for Saturday, smack in the middle of the hockey games. UGH!

So, got up at 6:15 to Oldest to the rink, came back to wake up girls, get them going to get ready for performance, back to the rink just in time to miss the whole game!(won 4-0) Took oldest for food, then back to the rink, and since I thought the performance was next door, I ran over there but no cars. Breakfast with Santa and no cars? Anyway, finally got the middle patient when she got back home, it had been moved to the JR high. 2nd game, (tied 4-4 we supplied them with a few players) then home again lickity split to finally pack and take off by noon. Meanwhile, several weather reports, road reports, and cautions phone calls later. We decided it is not worth the risk to head out. Bummered Patients! So, I take a quick nap, then we hit the movie theater for a matinee, where I couldn't hardly keep my eyes open (good thing I wasn't driving) then a little shoe shopping, and then a quiet movie watching evening Me still fighting my eyelids. Whoosh- woke up to a little snow this morning.

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

Happy Saint Lucia Day

Youngest Patient 2008
Middle Patient 2007

Good Food Friday- St Lucia Edition

Yesterday's presentation to the 2nd Grade went really well. The Youngest got all dressed up and hid, then when we turned the lights out and she came out, she got the OOOHH reactions that made her little heart happy.

I forgot my camera.

I was a little preoccupied.

The kids loved the story, but most of the girls were way more interested in the American Girl doll we dressed up as Santa Lucia. The boys were mostly interested in how she was killed. Go Figure.

In Honor of Saint Lucia day- which is tomorrow- may we present the recipies for Pepparkakor and Lucia Buns.




"Pepparkakor"


Att man äter pepparkakor i Sverige är en gammal tradition. Kakorna är inte gjorda av peppar. Men för länge sedan tyckte man att peppar var en ädel krydda och eftersom pepparkakorna är bruna så började man kalla dom för pepparkakor. (Men den bruna färgen är från kanelen och ingefära.)
Här har ni receptet:
3dl vatten
½ dl sirap
2,5 msk kane
l2msk malda nejlikor
2msk ingefära
2msk bikarbonat
400 g margarin
750gr socker
1350 gr mjöl

Låt vatten, sirap, kryddor och bikarbonat koka upp. Blanda margarin och socker. Häll den uppkokta kryddblandningen över och låt smeten svalna. Nu så inarbetas nästan allt mjöl (resten andvänds vid utbakningen). Låt stå tills nästa dag. Kavla degen så tunn som möjligt, ta ut figurerna, grädda c:a 5 min. i 225 grader Celsius ugnstemperatur. Satsen ger omkring 150.

What- you didn't quite get that? Oh- okay, here it is again, in English- geesh.

"Pepper-cookies"

Eating "pepper-cookies" is an old Swedish tradition. Of course, the cookies are not made of pepper. But long ago people thought that pepper was a noble spice, and since the cookies were brown, they became known as "pepper-cookies". (The brown color comes from the cinnamon and ginger.)
Here is the recipe:

3 dl water
½ dl treacle/molasses
2,5 spoons ground cinnamon
2 spoons ground cloves
2 spoons ground ginger
2 spoons bicarbonate
400 g butter
750 g sugar
1350 g flour
Let the water, molasses, spices and bicarbonate boil. Stir in the margarine and sugar. Pour the boiled spice mix over and let it cool down. Now mix in almost all the flour (the rest will be used later). Let it sit until the next day. Roll the dough as thin as possible, cut out the figures, bake for 5 minutes at 225° Centigrade in the oven. This recipe yields about 150 gingerbread cookies.

I said English, not American. And that means metric.

Or: you can just go buy a tin full at IKEA. Like me.



Lucia Bread:

11 TB butter
6 C flour
2/3 C sugar
3 pkg dry yeast- OR 1 and 2/3 oz fresh yeast
2 C milk
1 gr saffron- OR 1/2 tsp cardamom and 15 drops of yellow food coloring
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 C raisins
1 egg

If using saffron- grind with a little sugar in a mortar and pestle. or just use the cardamom. Melt butter, add milk and heat to 130degrees. Add salt and (saffron or cardamom with foodcoloring). Mix dry ingredients and gradually add the hot milk mixture. Knead the dough. Place in a greased bowl, cover with a damp cloth, and let rise 30 min. Knead again. Divind the dough into 30 parts. Roll into traditional shapes, add raisin decorations if so desired and place on a greased baking sheet. Let rise 30 min. Brush with beaten egg. Bake approx 5 min at 450 F.

If you like lots of raisins, add 1/2 cup to the dough.

CONFESSION TIME:

When we did Santa Lucia for Middle Patient's class, I just used the recipe for my braided bread and added yellow food coloring. I also left out all raisins- I was trying to not alienate half the class, and I didn't know how they would take the cardamom flavor- but I know everyone likes my bread. So, cheating is a perfectly good option for this one, too. And if you are "braid challenged"- not mentioning any names- you can have your fun rolling these little designs instead.

TaVaci Concert- Christmas 2008

Last night, the girls had their TaVaci concert. If you have an opportunity to have your children participate in this performing group, I highly recommend it. Of course, we are so lucky to have the very talented daughter of one of the founders as our group's instructor, but she is also the creative mind behind the songs and choreography- so it goes around. There are groups in lots of places, so look them up on the web and see if there is one by you. I know there are some in Idaho and California at least, as well as Utah. Anyway- back to the concert.

The performances are getting better and better, in part because the kids are becoming seasoned performers. There was a larger group than a year ago, so they were plenty loud, and with few exceptions, more professionally behaved. The littlest kids are always a treat because you just never know what they are going to do, and last night was no exception. The older groups sounded so good, you can really tell that most of them have been singing for at least a year now, and can follow parts as well as remember many lyrics and movements.

BUT- most importantly- they had so much fun! And we, the Audience, did too. I had a mother by me comment last night that this groups performances have become her whole family's favorite concerts. She was saving 4 of the first 5 rows (I had the other).

The confidence and self esteem that this group is helping to build in these kids is well worth the cost of time and energy.

There are no major stories of my own patients to relate, they both sang their hearts out and performed very well. The youngest did make sure quite often to watch her grandparents for their reactions to her songs. They did not disappoint.

Traditioooooonnn! Tradition! (times two)

Today I hope to complete another of our traditions- The Nutcrackers! The girls also have their Holiday TaVaci concert, I have to help in the youngest's class, prepare for my Saint Lucia demonstration tomorrow, clean that not self-cleaning house, and do the non-self fold and put away laundry. Not to mention work. So traditions of craziness and over scheduling do abound.

Edited-

I have now completed the Tradition for the day- TaDa! The Nutcrackers- don't worry, I will move them around the house in a minute- there are too many for the poor piano to handle anymore.

HOPE I GET ONE FROM BRAZIL?! Does anyone know if they have Brazilian Nutcrackers?

Tender Mercies Tuesday

This week has been a bit of a blur. I am not sure why, since the craziness of our schedule is starting to hit today. I think that I have to figure out how to simplify our lives around here. I am just not sure where to cut back. If only the house would clean itself, and the laundry would magically fold itself and put itself away- that would be great.

Today, I am grateful for the little jiggling of brain cells that helped me to locate my rather large supply of wooden houses, and for finding my decorator bags gross as that was.

I am grateful for good neighbors for my family. Ones that I can call at 7:00 in the morning to take a pair of jeans to turn into a 70's costume for my girlie's dress rehearsal and concert, tonight and tomorrow night respectively. I am also going to be making some for her girlie. I am also grateful that she went to K- m@rt yesterday and found matching jammas for our girlies to wear for both the concert and their dance number next Tuesday night. Who would have thought size 10 jammas would be impossible to find online?

I am grateful that my work will only take a couple of hours today, which will allow me the time to make the bell bottom pants for two girls today. I am grateful that the DR hasn't fired me from my super full time job of homemaker- because right now, I really am doing a terrible job of it.

I am grateful for frozen meatballs. You can make so many meals from them. And I have.

I am grateful.

I am grateful that Grandma Bunnie is doing better after this most recent chemo treatment. I am grateful that, after they made her come and clean out her desk because they have to replace her, they called to let her know, she can come back when she is ready. I am grateful that she has so many people that love her, and bring her joy. I am grateful for her buddy Molly who, like my Sophie, makes her feel loved and never sasses back. Well, Sophie sasses back in her own way.

I am grateful for the Young Women who are trying to help her out. If you live in Utah County- or close enough, please support them this weekend for their craft boutique fundraiser. See Love for Bunnie in the Therapy Options- or contact my Sis for the location and time-

Traditioooooonnn! Tradition!

Blame the Fiddler on the Roof refrain going through your head on my S.I.L! It is all her fault, because she got it into my head recently and it hasn't left!

One of our favorite traditions is making candy houses. I won't call them gingerbread houses, because we cheat and use wood houses to decorate instead. I was talking to my mom tonight, and I mentioned that we had managed to get them done this year. Like any good Grandma, she wants to see pictures of the Patients' Creative Expressions.

Last year, between my sister, the Outpatient, and the real craziness that is our reality, this tradition didn't happen. It wasn't likely to happen this year either, but I figured, the only way it would, was if I made it happen. Things got off to a rocky start because I couldn't find any of my EIGHT wood houses. Where do you loose such things? After a frantic, and somewhat insane search, they were located. We had invited friends over, who also have the wood houses ( I did them for Enrichment several years ago which is why my whole ward has them) and the fun began. It was super fun for me, because after making the frosting, and helping them secure the roofs and houses, they were off and running pretty much on their own.

They had a great time, ate lots of leftover candy, made "masterpieces" and tonight as I was literally digging through the garbage can looking for my decorator bags that accidentally got thrown out, I thought- IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!

Can you tell this house was made by a MALE? Clickity to make it big if you need the details.



Middle Patient looking rather pretty for an end of the day, hard working candy artist.



Youngest Patient shows her love of Belle


Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise, Sunset, swiftly flow the years....One season following another... Outpatient will be back next year. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself :) )

Trip Down Memory Lane

Today, our Family Tree is finally decorated. I use the term Family loosely there. It is really MY tree. My children have their own trees to decorate with their own ornament collections, so the big tree is all mine. The DR doesn't even really get a claim because he abandoned his job of putting on the lights years ago, so I even do that.

I strongly dislike putting on the lights, partly because I like to have so many on there that it takes forever, but I LOVE to put on the ornaments. We don't have a "formal" theme for our tree. What we have is a memory tree, or as my sister calls them, a story tree. Most of my ornaments have a story behind them, with a few blending ornaments to lend it a theme feel. The best part about my tree? I will never get bored with it, because it is covered in memories that matter to me.

I have ornaments for each of my children's' birth years, I have ornaments from various trips we have taken, gifts from special people in our lives, some that have been around since we were first married. I have tried harder lately to get ornaments that fit with the general idea of the tree, but, sometimes, it just has to be something completely different.



Like Santa on a beach in Hawaii. In a inner tube. With a tan. That came from our first trip to Hawaii. This time, I got a sand dollar with small shells arranged on it, and it says Kauai. Color wise, it matches better.


I can get teary as I put the ornaments on. The past two years have started off teary because I begin with my children's' ornaments.

With the Outpatient's. This has been on my tree for 20 years!

Then the Oldest in-patient, who is almost TWELVE and nearly to my eyes in height.

Then the Middle Patient who has the audacity to look a bit older than 10 these days and whose ornament proved to be a little too appropriate for her. (notice the thumb sucking)

Then the Youngest, who will be 8 in barely 2 months. Where did that time go?

Then I blow my nose and move on. Oh, look, The Chairs. Grandma Bunnie gave us the chairs, one for every family member, along with an amazing poem written by one of my all time favorite people, Grandma Marsha. No Empty Chairs. Excuse me, I need a new tissue.

There are the Victorian Santas made by Marion, from the boutique we did at my sister's house. There are the Golden Stars from my first ever SOLO vacation to Florida to cheer The Artist, and two of my sisters, D and Amerinkus, on in the Disney World marathon, speaking of which, there are the straw ornaments from Norway that we bought when we went down to Disney World as a family. I am part Norwegian, by the way, and part Swede- don't get my husband talking about that.

There are the glass icicles that we bought the Christmas we spent in a hotel in Medford OR while the DR worked (Fun Memories, Aunt Barb?). I have added to those, because we bought all they had at the time, which was only 18. It took almost 10 years to find more, but now I see them everywhere. I have quite a stash now. I heart those. Then there are both brass and silver cut out ornaments of places we have been. Super fun trips to Victoria with the Lunch lady and Pb& J. Seattle for a company Christmas party. I wore red. St Thomas for our cruise. I was tan.

There is the dimensional brass cut work snowflake from little Brad Horrocks for a wedding present. I was his primary teacher at the time. He would be almost 30 now :) There are the Sled Bear ornaments, one with the youngest still under wraps from our trip to Monterrey with M. & P. and the other was from Seattle, the very next year and the youngest was no longer under wraps. There are various others representing both family and couple trips we have taken. There are Nutcrackers from Jackson Hole and the Family Reunion after my Grandpa was killed. There is also a family of moose from that trip.

There are several that I got last year on my trips to help my sister. Angels. All of them. There is the Sisters one she bought for me. There are very special felt and pom pom bears that she made for me when I was first married. I used to collect Bears. Now I collect kids :)

Then, last year, the middle patient gave us this. A star.

To tell us that like the wisemen followed the star to find Jesus, she was following us.

12 Years ago today-

Twelve years ago today, events began to happen that would very much effect our lives forever. We spent the day in the temple with my sister, as she received her endowment prior to being married and sealed. We came out to find several missed calls on the cell phone. From the M.I.L., a S.I.L., our Social Worker. Wait, back up. The Social Worker? Quick! Call back. There was a young woman wanting to review our file, but while we were complete and approved in Oregon, we were not in Utah. He had convinced her social worker to present our file, and he would get us to get the rest of it in ASAP. We didn't want anyone to know and therefore add to the pressure, we then spent every spare minute away from wedding events completing the paperwork requirements for Utah. It was nerve wracking to say the least, but we did as much as we could. And our file was given to the young woman.

As we get closer to the birthday of the Oldest Patient, I will share many of the tender mercies that occurred to bring this most special of spirits into our home. But for today, it is a special anniversary that I never fail to think about.

Good Food Friday - Holiday Season Edition

I found this recipe a few years ago, and it is yummy!

Nutella Sandwich Cookies

1/2 C Shortening
1/3 C Granulated Sugar
1/3 C Brown Sugar
1/2 tsp Baking Powder
1/4 tsp Baking Soda
1/8 tsp Salt
1 Egg
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 C Flour
3/4 C Quick Oats
1/2 C or more Nutella spread

Heat oven to 375

Beat Shortening on med to high speed for 30 seconds. Add sugars, powder, soda, and salt. Beat well, cleaning bowl sides occasionally. Add egg and vanilla. Add as much flour as you can with the mixer, then stir in the remaining flour and oats. Roll dough into 3/4 inch balls. Place on baking sheet 1- 2 inches apart. Flatten into circles about 1 inch in diameter.

Bake for 5 -7 minutes until edges are firmed and bottoms are lightly browned. Cool on rack.

Spread flat sides of half of the cookies with the spread, then top with the remaining cookies, flat sides together.

Can store separated by waxed paper in an airtight container. Cover. Store in fridge up to three days.

Or- freeze unfilled cookies in freezer up to 3 months, then thaw and fill.

Should make approx 4 dozen sandwiches.

Since you can freeze these, they are great for making ahead of the crazy holiday schedule, then you have something on hand for a quick treat or gift.

Think About It

Have you ever made bread? Have you ever made bread and left something out? I once made cinnamon rolls for the workers building our home and left the egg out. They were still edible.

A month or so ago, I helped the oldest patient "make" bread. He had to do it for science. We had to make a regular loaf, a loaf without sugar, and a loaf without yeast. This was a little difficult because how do you split bread recipes? I finally split one in half, and made half one way and half the other, then made a regular batch, so that way, I had two usable loaves. I did similar stuff back in the day, plus I cook quite a bit, so I knew what the results were going to be.




Top Loaf is "YEAST FREE",



Bottom Loaf is "SUGAR FREE"




Before baking.






The Yeast Free Loaf looked beautiful, smooth and still nicely browned when it finished cooking, but was much smaller and could easily double as a cricket bat.

By comparison, the Sugar Free loaf was big and fat, of all things, but rather pale and lumpy. It also fell apart at the slightest contact that was not perfectly balanced.

The other loaves, whose picture insisted on uploading sideways, were light but sturdy, beautifully browned, and delish!

All were edible. My kids quite gladly ate the problem loaves, which was a bit surprising because I bake this bread often. They easily broke the sugar free loaf into big bites and although it tasted different, it was still edible. They then began to devour the yeast free loaf. VERY CHEWY, but still edible.

There is an object lesson in there that has nothing to do with science.

We go along in life, and maybe we are missing something. It may still be edible, but it just isn't as good as it could be.

I think my kids believe that I am missing the yeast. I may look normal but am tough and unyeilding and need to lighten up. Then, there are some of us out there missing the sugar, so we are light and airy with no real substance.

We need all the ingredients in the proper amounts to have our lives be balanced.

What might be missing out of your recipe?

BIG BIRTHDAY MONTH!

December was a very popular birth month for our families! We even had a few that were crazy enough to get married in December as well.

We have:

DJ- 4th

A & A- 12 years on the 6th

Addie- 10th

David and Cony- 31 (I think) on the 14th

Russ- 18th

Amy - 20th

Chelsi- 21st

Dave A.- 21st

Dad A- 29th

Dustin 30th

Teisha- 31st

And if this isn't enough, our niece is due on the 15th!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARY TO YOU ALL!!!

The Best Day of my whole week

Wednesday (occasionally Tuesday) is the best day of the week for me. Any guesses why? It is email day!!! Today was particularly fun as the Outpatient tried to email a video file. Still waiting on that :( , but I doubt it will come. But, as I was getting ready to leave, I saw a new email, from one of his friends in Canada on a mission. I had just recently found out his email and forwarded a few of the latest offerings from my boy, and he wrote to tell me he loved hearing from us, and thanks for putting up with him, how awesome the outpatient is, things Head Nurses LOVE to hear. It was short, but super nice. I quickly forwarded it to the boy because I had to leave and was afraid I would forget about it later. Within two minutes, I had a reply from the outpatient! I laughed and forwarded that back to the buddy, who was still on line apparently, because he replied right back, which I then forwarded to the Outpatient. So, within 10 minutes, I bridged Brazil and Canada! How is that for cool? The outpatient had just recently received snail mail from the buddy, so it was great to let Buddy know his letter made it, since it would be 4-5 weeks before he would get a reply. Best part was going to school and telling Buddy's mom that I just emailed with her boy and my boy at the same time. I HEART EMAIL!!!!

Oh, and for those of you counting (and I KNOW some of you are :) ) We are under 300 days remaining until I get to squish his face again. You will have to wait in line. Sorry. Not really.

Joys of a Small Town

One of the joys of living in a small town, is that your mailman knows you personally, and knows that you only get your mail every few days so he knocks on your door to let you know you have mail!

Photo taken day before letter was mailed 11-05-08


From Brazil!!!!!!!

Hurray for small town mailman! He truly made my whole day!

Tender Mercies Tuesday

As I have spent the better part of the last two days at the computer, I have been reminded of the tender mercy that my job is. A couple of years ago, I was praying for a way to help the DR with his stress load, yet still be available to my children. I was offered a job where the outpatient worked, with the promise of completely flexible schedule. I hesitated because it just didn't feel right. Then, the gal, B., that used to do this job went to leave on vacation, so the DR and his assistant decided to see if I would be willing to train and fill in for her while she was gone. It was a little intense at first. Then she came back from vacation, and I stayed available to help her when she needed a little help. It worked out great for several reasons, I had just an hour or two a day at the most, with plenty of time in between to get things done around here, and by working at home, it saved the company because I only had to be paid for the actual time I worked, unlike if there wasn't anything to do and I was sitting in an office waiting. Thirdly, I am willing to work at really weird hours and take it with me. Then, B. found out that after 8 years, she was finally going to have a baby.

At the time, they had hired two girls to take over what B. had been doing. They were not good, but because of the timing, they didn't dare fire them. The girls solved the problem by quiting! Nice of them, and luckily, I was available to take on all of the data entry for production.

You may wonder how this has benefited the DR. Well, for one thing,he knows that I do my job well, so he doesn't have to worry about if it is being done right. This data entry is what billing and payroll are based off of- so it helps that he feels confident that we (there are a few of us now) are fanatical about our work. There are other things which I can't discuss, but I know that this job situation is an answer to those prayers I said. I am grateful for it.

Even though it can be interesting having the DR as my boss :)

Parenting or Enabling

When do we become parents?

- Is it when a child is born (or given) to us?
- Is it when we teach that child to walk, setting in motion the path to independence?
- Is it when we send that child to school, exposing them to ideas and philosophies that are not strictly our own?
- Is it when we let that child make choices, and experience the consequences of those choices- good or bad?
- Is it when that child stands on his/her own feet, accepting and taking responsibility for the roof overhead, the food on the table?

I heard a quote on a parenting CD which really made sense. President Spencer W. Kimball was quoted as saying that the loving thing is ALWAYS the responsible thing.

So, if we love our children, we will do the responsible thing; teach them to be independent of us and responsible for their own choices and life.

I have read in a few articles and seen in an awful lot of situations around me some things that just boggle my mind. My son has several friends who were given very nice vehicles, including brand new $40,000.00 trucks for their very own, with all expenses paid. My child was rather bummed to find that his parents don't roll that way, at all.

One article I read talked about how this mom would drive several hours every other week to do her son's laundry, clean his room, and make his food- AT HIS COLLEGE? What is up with that? That boy's future wife, if he can get one, is going to hate that he never learned to do anything for himself.

I was told of other instances where mothers are actually calling their grown children's employers to request time off, call in sick ,etc. Again, What is up with that? If a child is old enough to have a job, they are old enough to be responsible for that. I am very confused about when that became our responsibility.

I also know of several instances where newly married couples were bought houses- nice, big houses, by their parents. For those of us who had to struggle at least a little when we were first married, did it harm us in any way?

This "Parental Involvement" baffles me. The DR and I really do a lot for our children, we do. Some people might say we do too much. But my Outpatient will testify that he has had to be personally responsible for more and more as he has grown up. How do we expect our children to survive the trials and tests of life if we don't let them build those Independence muscles. If we don't let our children learn the easier way, the world will batter them even worse.

There are times when our children need our help, but I think we need to be so careful not to hinder their agency by letting ourselves take responsibility for their lives on our own shoulders. Our family had to live with my in laws for about a year do to circumstances, but we split the food costs, and we paid for our own phone bill. In retrospect, we should have insisted on paying a share of the utilities also. As well as it went, I was ever so grateful to get a roof of my own again.

We had many teaching moments in the life of our son, and he is now working full time serving his Father in Heaven, washing his clothes by hand in a little washboard sink. I taught him to do laundry and made him completely responsible for his own clothes the year before he left(huge letting go moment for me the laundry nazi), but I didn't teach him to hand wash ;) He also learned to cook for himself, and actually became pretty good at it because he worked at two different eating establishment. We helped him learn to treat people well, and to be a good employee. He took those lessons and became even better. I guess we do love him, because we did the responsible thing. We taught, loved, spoiled a little bit, but let him know that good things in life aren't just handed to you.

We are far from great parents. We make lots of mistakes, but we try to keep the end goal in mind.